It's Tuesday, which means it's time again for my favorite weekly bookish meme, Top Ten Tuesday.  Participating is fun and easy.  If you've never done it before, hop on over to The Broke and the Bookish, read over the rules, make your own list, and voilá, you're in!

Last week, we talked about the things that entice us to pick up books.  This week, we're chatting about the opposite.  Which things make you avoid a book like the plague?  What are your reading turn-offs?  

Here are my Top Ten Things That Will Instantly Make Me Not Want to Read a Book: 

1.  Books that are excessively long.  I read a fair amount of chunksters, mind you, but I definitely think twice before picking them up.  Also, if a book is endless for no apparent reason, I will most likely not continue reading.

2.  Erotica.  No.  Just ... no.

3.  Half-naked people on the cover.  These books get an automatic bypass from me.  Scantily-clad folks on the cover = a sure sign a book is too "spicy" for my tastes.

4.  Naughty words in the title.  Do you have little kids?  Then you know why you don't want to read books with swear words on the cover.  "Mommy, that book has bad words!  Why are you reading a book with bad words?  What does **&&^^!! mean?"  Yeah.

5.  Self-published books.  I know, I know, but I've read too many terribly-written, poorly-edited self-published novels to want to read more.  In general, I don't read books that haven't been looked over by a traditional publisher.  Not that I haven't read terribly-written, poorly-edited traditionally-published books, but still ... 

6.  Books with poorly written/edited queries.  This one goes hand-in-hand with #5.  I get dozens of queries every day from authors/publishers/publicists asking me to review the book(s) they have on offer.  A clever, well-written/edited query goes a long way toward making me want to read a book.  The opposite is also true.  If a query contains sloppy prose, typos/grammatical errors, and flat writing, it's a pretty good indication that the book in question is going to be the same way.  No thanks.

7.  Poetry.  Unless a poem rhymes and is written by Dr. Seuss, I probably won't understand it.  Poetry makes me feel dumb, so I avoid it.

8.  Short Stories.  In spite of what I said in #1, I'm definitely the kind of reader who likes to sink into a rich, detailed novel where I can really get to know the characters and the world in which they live.  Short stories don't allow this kind of depth, so I rarely read them.

9.  Certain authors.  Just like I have auto-read authors, I have auto not-read authors.  If I've read enough of an author's books to know they're just not my cup of tea, I don't pick up their work.

10.  Deep, dense tomes.  My husband is a big fan of deep doctrinal books on religion, philosophy, science, etc.  Not me.  If I have to read a sentence (let alone a paragraph) five times in order to understand it, then it's not for me.  I much prefer clarity to complexity.  No one has ever accused me of being a deep thinker :)

So, what about you?  What will automatically make you reject a book?  Leave me a comment and I'll gladly return the favor.

Happy Top Ten Tuesday!

 

As an aspiring songwriter, Lily Abbott can't stop writing down potential lyrics in the notebook she carries with her everywhere.  When she zones out one too many times in class, her chemistry teacher confiscates the book, leaving Lily hopelessly bored.  Jotting down her favorite lyrics from the indie band she loves on her desk helps pass the time.  Next class period, Lily is shocked to find that someone has continued penning the song on her desk.  Soon, she and her anonymous correspondent are exchanging band recommendations, favorite songs, and increasingly flirty banter.  It's not long before they're sharing deeper, more meaningful thoughts.  Before Lily knows it, she finds herself falling—hard—for the mystery boy who makes her smile, laugh, and think.

 

for very mild innuendo

To the FTC, with love:  I received an e-copy of P.S. I Like You from the Whitney Awards Committee as part of my involvement with the Whitney Academy's judging panel.

 

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

Nestled on four hundred acres of lush forest land in upstate New York, the Bosco estate exudes peace and stillness.  Over one hundred years ago, its mistress began inviting artists to her sprawling home, envisioning it as a retreat for creative souls.  Aurora Latham's dream lives on.  Although the Bosco estate has been neglected over the years, its gardens overgrown, its statuary crumbling, artists still clamber for an invitation to the exclusive colony.

Ellis Brooks is a short story writer working on her first novel, a fictionalized account of the tragic events that occurred in the Latham household in the summer of 1893.  After three of the Lathams' children died in a diphtheria epidemic, wealthy Milo Latham hired a famous medium to help his distraught wife try to contact the dead kids.  When a séance at the estate went horribly wrong, the medium and her accomplice disappeared—along with the Lathams' only remaining child.

The quiet and solitude of Bosco should be helping Ellis concentrate, but the more time she spends there, the more unsettled she becomes.  And she's not the only one.  The other artists-in-residence report seeing and hearing strange things.  As the truth of what happened in 1893 slowly comes to light, it becomes clear that whatever dark malevolence haunted the Bosco estate in the past hasn't entirely left.  Will any of the property's current residents escape unscathed?  No.  No, they will not ...

I've read several of Carol Goodman's novels and I think The Ghost Orchid might be my favorite of them all.  With a spooky atmosphere, some supernatural thrills, and a host of complex characters, it's a compelling read.  While I saw a number of the plot twists coming, I still found the novel intriguing overall.  Sad, yes, but gripping for sure.  

(Readalikes:  Other novels by Carol Goodman and those by Kate Morton)

Grade:

 

If this were a movie, it would be rated:

 

for language (a couple F-bombs, plus milder expletives), violence, sexual content, and depictions of illegal drug use

To the FTC, with love:  Another library fine find

 

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

Detective Constable Maeve Kerrigan is used to being ridiculed by her mostly male colleagues.  They mock her gender, her looks, her Irish heritage, her "womanly" empathy, her work habits—everything.  Although the 28-year-old lets it roll off her back, she's still eager to prove she's a valuable member of the London murder squad, that she's there on her own merit and not because she's sleeping with the boss (a rampant, untrue rumor).  She longs to be part of the hunt for a vicious serial killer called The Burning Man.  Solving the case would earn her much-needed bragging rights.  Not to mention bring a murderer to justice.

When a new victim is found, Maeve and her colleagues are puzzled.  The murder seems to be the work of The Burning Man, but the M.O. doesn't quite fit.  Are they looking for the same killer or a copycat?  Assigned to look into the private life of the dead woman, Maeve makes some startling revelations that lead to more mystifying questions.  Who was Rebecca Haworth?  What led to her brutal death?  With few solid clues, it's difficult to find answers.  The more Maeve learns about Rebecca, though, the more determined she is to find the woman's killer.  Even if it means putting her own life on the line.  Which it inevitably will.

The Burning, the first book in the Maeve Kerrigan series by Irish crime writer Jane Casey, is a tense, fast-paced thriller.  While the mystery at its center is certainly compelling, it's the characters that really come first here.  Maeve is tough, but caring and devoted.  Eternally likable, she's also flawed, which makes her feel very real.  Louise North, who is Rebecca's best friend and a dual narrator with Maeve, is likewise intriguing.  While I would consider The Burning a character-driven novel, the plot definitely moves along at a clip.  The story isn't quite as twisty as I wanted it to be, but it definitely kept me riveted.  A few chapters in, I found myself reserving the next two books in the series.  That's how much I liked The Burning, especially its understated but unforgettable heroine.  I've learned since that Casey just knows how to pull me in—once I start one of her books, I (almost literally) can't stop reading.  Fair warning.

(Readalikes:  Books by Sharon Bolton and Tana French; also other novels in the Maeve Kerrigan series, including The Reckoning; The Last Girl; The Stranger You Know; The Kill; After the Fire; and Let the Dead Speak)

Grade:

 

If this were a movie, it would be rated:

 

for strong language, violence, blood/gore, sexual content, depictions of illegal drug use, and disturbing subject matter

To the FTC, with love:  Another library fine find