I Love A Man in Uniform by Lily Burana - Although it sounds fluffy-duffy, this is a very heartfelt memoir about a former stripper who marries an officer in the U.S. Army. The unlikely match sets tongues a-waggin'. Burana, a once anti-establishment punk goth, now has to navigate the "arrow straight" (7) world of the military, complete with acronymns, deployment, PTSD and, scariest of all, the other Army wives. Burana is candid and real - military wives, especially, will relate to her story. I just got tired of the raunchiness. This one, also, gets rave reviews on Amazon - check them out here.

So, my Top 3 picks are I'll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do) by Mark Greenside (my review), Weekends at Bellevue by Julie Holland, MD (see my review), and Lucky Girl by Mei-Ling Hopgood (my review). I'm not going to tell you how I ranked them. I'm just sneaky that way. I believe the results will come out in the December issue of ELLE, but I'm not positive.

I'm still working on my Top 3 fiction picks. I'll keep you informed.

----

And now, for the even more random portion of the program ...

One of the FAQs around BBB is: How do you snag all those great books? And what do you do with them after you read them? Excellent questions. I think I'll answer them.

The easiest way to snag ARCs and other books for review is to - get ready - ask for them. If you're a book reviewer, stick a note on your blog saying you're willing to receive them. Soon, you'll be getting more requests than you can handle. You can also sign up to host authors on blog tours, which not only gets you a free book, but also drives traffic to your blog. Pretty soon, you'll build up a network of contacts in the publishing world and you'll be drowning in review books, just like I am. Easy, no?

What to do with the hundreds of review books I receive? That's a tougher question. My home is already filled to the brim with reading material, so I can't keep every book I receive, nor do I want to. If I really enjoy a book and it's clean enough for my bookshelves, then I keep it. I especially adore signed copies of books I love. It doesn't get better than that. If I get a published book that is just okay, or that has too much sex, profanity or violence, then I donate it to my public library. Donations either get added to its collection or sold to generate more funds for the library. If I get a MG novel that doesn't exactly thrill me, or that my kids aren't interested in, that book gets donated to their elementary school. ARCs, of course, can't be donated, so if I like them, I keep them; if I don't, well, that's where it gets tricky. I've trashed one, sent a couple to other book bloggers, and loaned/given some to friends. The others are sitting in a box by my desk.

Now, this is the part you need to pay attention to - I donate most of the review books I receive to the library. Since I'm giving them away anyway, you are welcome to them. There's a catch, of course - as much as I'd like to, I don't have the money to mail books all over the world. However, if you're local, you're welcome to come by and grab what you'd like. Just email me if you see a review of a book in which you're interested - if I have a copy, it's yours. Book bloggers - I'm open to swapping books via mail or IRL contact (if you live near me). Shoot me an email or leave me a comment and we'll set it up.

Authors - I know these books are like your children. Rest assured that even if I don't enjoy them, I always try to get them into the hands of other readers. Your babies are going to get the least amount of exposure sitting on my bookshelves, so I go out of my way (literally - my favorite library's about 10 miles away) to get them read. Promoting books and reading is extremely important to me. Don't fret - I've only trashed one book. So far.

How about the rest of you book bloggers? What are your secrets to getting the best, most sought-after ARCs? What do you do with your review books when you're finished with them? Inquiring minds want to know!

Oh, and if you're curious as to which titles I have in my hot little hands, check out the handy-dandy Google spreadsheet I made. I update it regularly, although I'm a tad bit behind at the moment.

Now that I've blogged twice in one day, I think I'm going to pay some attention to my very messy house. Of course, Catching Fire is just sitting here, begging me to pick it up ... I'm nothing if not obliging :)

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

Do you have book prejudices? Are there certain genres you avoid because, even if you've never tried them, you just know they're not your thing? I definitely do. I stay away from anything science/tech-y, avoid chick lit, ignore high fantasy, and give travel memoirs a wide berth. At least I did. Then, I read I'll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do) by Mark Greenside; now, I'm re-thinking my travel memoir avoidance. There might be something to this genre after all.

Greenside's tale begins with a girl, as all good stories do. The female in question is Kathryn, his poet girlfriend, who decides they should spend the summer in Europe. Brittany, to be exact; situated in the far west of France, it might as well be Finistère - The End of the World. Greenside is reluctant to say the least. Says the intrepid traveler, "I hate to fly and don't speak French. This isn't a good idea. I was in Paris in 1966, and they loathed me, and I don't think I've changed all that much" (3). Still, when Kathryn informs him she's rented the perfect summer cottage, that's the end of the argument. They go.

In the small Breton village where they settle, Greenside (l'American) stands out like, well, an American in France. His only saving grace is that he's not English. Otherwise, he's pretty obviously "an affront to the village, France, and humanity" (192). Kathryn's dream cottage turns out to be a filthy nightmare, "each room its own disaster" (30). But, somehow, what should be a miserable excuse for a summer, turns into a love affair. Not between Mark and Kathryn - they don't survive the experience - but between Mark and his new home. Through daily interactions with the villagers, he comes to understand (not exactly through words, since he still can't understand the language) that he's in a graceful place, where "the small things are large, a bonjour, ça va, a flower, a glass of water. It's a good way to live" (135).

Still, he never plans to actually live there live there. Yet, somehow, his formidable landlady convinces him to buy a house. When he has no money. How does this come about exactly? In a way that is wholly un-American and quintessentially French: it's all based on trust. The whole transaction befuddles the cynical Monsieur Greenside, who exclaims:

My dad was a lawyer -- a Philadelphia lawyer -- we were all taught never, ever, under any circumstances, with the possible exception of a birthday card, to sign anything without having it vetted by someone, preferably a lawyer, but at least a professional, definitely a Jew. And here I am surrounded by Christians -- Catholics -- initialing a document I can't read and don't understand, in a language I'll never master, the whole thing being explained and translated by the person I'm buying the house from. The only saving grace in this whole process is I don't have the money, so what's to lose? (114-15)

From buying baguettes at the local boulangerie to dealing with Breton contractors to blunders big and small, Greenside punctuates his travelogue with a healthy dose of humor. Even better, it's the humble, self-deprecating kind that makes you fall instantly in love with its bearer. His voice is lively, engaging and just funny. Where I expected a long, dull monologue about places I've never been and people I've never met, I got a colorful fish-out-of-water stale spun by a master storyteller. Rarely have I encountered a village idiot as entertaining as Monsieur l'American, Mark Greenside. Want my opinion of I'll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do)? C'est magnifique.

Grade: A-

If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG-13 for some language