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Warning: Avoid Pseudonymous Bosch At All Costs

Warning: While this review contains no spoilers for If You're Reading This, It's Too Late, it may inadvertently spill the beans about events in its predecessor, The Name of This Book Is Secret. Take my advice and read the books in order. Consider yourself warned.
The mysterious Pseudonymous Bosch had some issues with me calling his first book "fun." So, I'll be avoiding the "F" word when I talk about his second mystery, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late. Instead, I'll use PB's adjective: dangerous. As in troublesome, hazardous, unsafe. Avoid this book at all costs. Don't read it. Don't recommend it to your friends. And definitely, definitely don't give it to a child.
Of course, as the title suggests, if you're reading this book, it's already too late anyway. So, I guess a quick plot summary can't do too much harm. If you've read The Name of This Book Is Secret (click here to see my review or just scroll down), you already know our heroes, Cass and Max-Ernest. When the story opens, our favorite pair is waiting anxiously to hear from the Terces Society, which has been silent since their adventures at the Midnight Sun Spa. A coded note in Cass' lunchbag seems to be exactly the communication for which they have been waiting. However, following the instructions on the note puts the kids in hot water once again - well, actually it's cold, ocean water, but still, they're in trouble. Ever resourceful, pair manages to find some clues to the Secret so desired by Dr. L and Ms. Mauvais. When Cass and Max-Ernest finally make it back to land, they have several mysteries to solve: What exactly is The Sound Prism they found aboard the Midnight Sun's yacht? What is a homunculus and why are the bad guys so intent on finding it? And, most importantly, how are they going to find it first?
Obviously, it's a dangerous tale. One Pseudonymous Bosch probably should never have unleashed on the world. Really, you shouldn't read it. Okay, really you should, because it's just so fun dangerous. With an irresistible mixture of magic, secret codes, adventure and mystique, If You're Reading This, It's Too Late is a perfect read for kids. Which is why it should, of course, be kept out of their reach. Anything children find irresistible pretty much equals trouble, so parents, protect your offspring - keep this one for yourselves. Preferably on a high shelf or in a locked cabinet. Just don't let them get to it. If you're reading Mr. Bosch, it's too late for you, but you still have time to save your kids (and all that money for which they're going to be begging you now that his third book is out). You've been warned.
Grade: A
If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG for images that may be frightening to kids under 8 or so.
The One Where Darcie's Name Is Actually Stacie
The Name of This Book Is So Much Fun

If you're still mourning the end of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events books, you might want to check out his literary twin - Pseudonymous Bosch. It took a little Internet sleuthing for me to believe they aren't actually the same person. I mean, c'mon, they write under fake names and tell their stories via anonymous, secretive, and overly-protective narrators. Both warn readers not to pick up their books, ensuring that they would, in fact, become bestsellers. Okay, okay, there aren't many similarities between their respective stories, but still ... twins, I tell ya.
I'm getting a little ahead of myself, although The Name of This Book Is Secret may not need much of an introduction. Most of you have already read it. For the two of you who haven't, it's the story of Cassandra (Cass), an 11-year-old "survivalist," who embraces the Boy Scout motto ("Be Prepared") with fervor. Although she's never experienced an actual disaster, she's always ready in case one should descend. And so it does, in the form of a mystery that comes knocking on her door. Not literally, but in the form of an odd box brought into her grandfathers' junk shop. Labeled "The Symphony of Smells," the box has been rescued from the home of a recently-deceased magician. Upon examination, Cass and her friend Max-Ernest discover a message which leads them to an even bigger discovery. It's a find that will attract the (very unwelcome) attention of a strange couple, who are intent on stealing it for themselves. Not only do Cass and Max-Ernest need to protect the magician's secret, but they also need to figure out exactly what the secret is - before it's too late.
This story is so fun and inventive that I don't want to give any of it away, thus the bare-bones plot description. I'll just say that it's quirky in a Lemony Snicket kind of way, but without all the doom and gloom. It's different, it's original, it's thoroughly enjoyable. Read it. Warning: You might want to hide it away until you're done, though - I'll guarantee your kids will be fighting you for it. Yep. It really is that good.
Oh, I almost forgot. Two quotes I love from the book:
"Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems" (from the introduction).
"Only bad books have good endings.
If a book is any good, it's ending is always bad--because you don't want the book to end" (314).
Grade: A-
If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG for some mildly scary scenes (may be too frightening for the under-8 set)
Darcie! Are You Out There?
Secondly, Darcie, you won a copy of The Lost Summer by Kathryn Williams. I would love to sent it out to you, but I need your address. It's been almost a week - if I don't hear from you by midnight tomorrow, I'll draw another name. So, please contact me! My email is blogginboutbooks[AT]gmail[DOT][COM].
That's it. I'm still in the middle of The Name of This Book Is Secret by Pseudonymous Bosch. It's lots of fun. I should have a review up by tomorrow or Wednesday. In the meantime, happy reading! I'm off to bed. Getting up early to get my kids off to school is killing me (they leave for the bus stop at 7:20). *Yawn*


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