Thursday, September 19, 2013

Which Language Do You Speak?

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

Since I'm probably the last person on Earth to read this one, I'll try not to get too wordy with the "plot" description of Dr. Gary Chapman's popular book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.  Basically, Chapman—a long-time pastor and marriage counselor—believes that each person receives love most meaningfully through one of five approaches:  Touch; Words of Affirmation; Acts of Service; Receiving Gifts; and Quality Time.  This is his or her Primary Love Language.  The next most appealing one is their Secondary Love Language.  This means that while a wife may enjoy receiving jewelry or hearing how amazing she is, if the things that really melt her heart are her husband's offers to make dinner when she's too tired to do it herself or to fold the laundry so she doesn't have to, her Primary Love Language is probably Acts of Service.  Other "languages" may speak to her, but this is the one that really lets her know she's loved and appreciated.  

Why is knowing your own and other people's love languages so important?  As Chapman explains, this information can literally transform your relationships.  Speaking specifically to married couples, the author urges spouses to discover their own Primary Love Language as well as their partner's so that they can show love to each other more effectively.  Want to really show your husband how much he means to you?  Try doing it in his love language, not your own.  For such a simple concept, it's actually quite revolutionary.  Chapman offers numerous examples of how this knowledge helped couples he worked with create happier, more fulfilling marriages.  He offers suggestions on how to apply the same principles in your own home.  In subsequent books Chapman also discusses how this approach can be used in parenting young children and teenagers; dating; getting along with others in the workplace; and in dealing with a military marriage. 

The 5 Languages is quick, readable and uplifting.  It offers not just practical tips for improving relationships, but also hope that even the rockiest marriages can be saved with the unselfish application of the principles in the book.  Since even the most solid unions need strengthening sometimes, the book's information applies to all of us.  It truly is an easy, inspiring read and one I highly recommend.  

For lots of free, online information about The 5 Love Languages, visit:  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

(Readalikes:  Hm, I can't think of anything.  Guess I should read more relationship-y books, eh?)

Grade:

       

If this were a movie, it would be rated:  


for references to sex

To the FTC, with love:  I purchased a copy of The Five Love Languages from Amazon with a portion of the millions I make from my lucrative career as a book blogger.  Ha ha.  
   

1 comment:

  1. I've read this one and it's so interesting! I think my language is affirmation, but I find affirmation through pretty much every other language it seems! haha! It is incredible how the way you treat someone (whether you're in a relationship with them or not) might not come across as "love" to them as it does to you. I have found this book helps me with my relationship with my mom more than anyone! Great review!

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