I finally came to the conclusion that I would never know [why Adam Lanza did what he did].  I would never fathom what was in his heart.  But God could.  God knew how to hold him accountable.  God knew how to judge him.  That burden was not for me to carry; rather, it was for me to lay down at God's feet.  It was not something I needed to grapple with for the rest of my life.  I didn't have to judge.  I didn't have to figure it out.

As I made this decision, a burden so deep and heavy it had nearly crushed me was physically lifted from me.  My heart burned with a joy so powerful it brought me to tears.  I had learned it was possible to forgive Adam Lanza, and that the first step for me was to choose to simply let go (137).

Told in straightforward, unadorned prose, An Unseen Angel is an emotional and powerful memoir.  It touched me deeply, more so than I imagined it would.  Parker's story made me cry; it made me think; and it made me look at my own struggles with a new perspective.  As sad as the subject matter is, An Unseen Angel focuses not on the shooting at Sandy Hook itself, but on the hope, healing, and grace that have come about because of it.

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

Stillwater Bay, Maine, is the kind of tiny, close-knit community where nothing bad ever happens.  Until it does.  

It's been a month since a local teen barged into the elementary school, shooting ten kids and two teachers before turning the gun on himself.  Although the residents of Stillwater Bay are still reeling from the shocking incident, Mayor Charlotte Stone thinks it's time for the town to move past the tragedy.  Re-opening the school, she reasons, will bring some peace to the grief-stricken town.  Her husband, the school principal, feels the same.     

Her best friend, Jennifer Crowne, does not agree.  The thought of innocent children streaming through the halls where her son died so horrifically fills her with a rage so fiery and deep, she can barely suppress it.  Alcohol numbs her fury, but only so much—and only for so long.  Jenn wants the school torn down; it's the only thing that might ease her suffering.  

While residents clash over the school closure/opening issue, Charlotte struggles to keep the community together.  Not only is she losing her best friend, but her husband seems to be hiding something as well.  Jennifer knows she may be giving up everything—and everyone—she loves to fight a battle she can't win, but she has to do it for herself, for her son.  Nothing is more important.

As friends and neighbors chose sides, tempers flare and relationships are put to the ultimate test.  Can a town already so scarred come out unscathed?  Can it weather this most devastating of storms?  The odds are not looking good ...

I'm always interested in books—fictional or otherwise—that look at how communities deal with crises.  The human drama fascinates me.  That's why the premise of Stillwater Rising, Steena Holmes' newest, piqued my curiosity.  But, while the book definitely has drama, what it doesn't really have is a plot.  The story is more reaction than action, which makes it dull.  The central conflict (to close the school or not) just isn't big enough to carry a whole novel.  Plus, the characters remain pretty flat throughout the book.  Jenn is so childish and self-centered that it's difficult to empathize with her.  The other characters run together, making it tough to keep track of who's who.  Even the Big Reveal isn't much of a surprise.  It's predictable and comes so late in the story that the whole novel feels not just unresolved, but unsatisfying.  So, while I liked the idea of Stillwater Rising, overall, I found the read a disappointing one.     

(Readalikes:  Reminds me of Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult, One Breath Away by Heather Gudenkauf, and a little of And We Stay by Jenny Hubbard)

Grade:

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

(Note:  Although this review will not contain spoilers for Bang, it may inadvertently reveal plot surprises from its predecessor, Crash.  As always, I recommend reading books in a series in order.)

Now that things have gotten back to normal (whatever that is) for 16-year-old Jules Demarco, she should be happy.  Especially since her new normal includes being Sawyer Angotti's girlfriend.  He's the guy she's been dreaming about forever, the guy who helped her make sense of her terrifying visions and stop a deadly car crash.  So what if both the Demarcos and the Angottis are dead-set against their relationship?  Romeo and Juliet made it work.  Um, yeah.  

If only that were the only complication facing the new couple.  It's not. Not by a long shot.  Through some cruel twist of fate, Jules has passed her psycho vision-seeing powers on to Sawyer.  Now he's wracked with terrible glimpses of a shooting so horrific he can barely talk about it.  Jules knows there's only one way to make Sawyer's waking nightmares, which are reaching a fever pitch, go away—they have to use the clues in the visions to stop the tragedy from happening.  But making sense out of the confusing scenes isn't easy, especially when the constant examination of them is taking such a heavy toll on Sawyer's psyche.  Jules hates to torture the boy she loves, but if they don't solve the puzzle soon eleven people are going to die.  They can't let that happen.  They won't.  No matter what the cost.   

Lisa McMann knows how to write action-packed, addicting novels.  That's an undisputed truth.  Her skill's especially apparent, though, in her Visions series.  Crash kept me thoroughly engrossed and salivating for a sequel.  I'm happy to report that Bang does not disappoint.  Not at all.  It's just as compelling, just as exciting, just as pulse-pounding as its predecessor.  Jules' pitch-perfect voice makes the series all the more enjoyable, as she manages to be funny, endearing and sympathetic all at the same time.  Is it too early to start begging for another sequel?  I think not.

(Readalikes:  Crash by Lisa McMann; also her Wake series [Wake; Fade; Gone]; and a bit like The Body Finder series [The Body Finder; Desires of the Dead; The Last Echo; Dead Silence] by Kimberly Derting)

Grade: 

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

As a sudden Spring snowstorm swirls down on Broken Branch, Iowa, an armed man walks into the town's only school.  While the police scramble to figure out what's going on, parents huddle together outside the building, anxious for news.  No one knows who the gunman is, what he wants, or how far he's willing to go to make his point.  Hazardous road conditions make it impossible to bring in outside help.  Without the aid of trained SWAT teams or experienced hostage negotiators, it's up to local law enforcement to end the standoff.  They only hope it can be done quickly, peacefully, with no casualties.  As precious minutes tick by and the snow continues to fall, all the people of Broken Branch can do is wait.  And pray.  

Meg Barrett, a 33-year-old police officer, can't stop thinking about the kids trapped inside the school.  She's got to find a way to get them out, even if it means ignoring orders from her superior and going against police protocol.  Anything.  She'll do anything to save the children.  Eighth grader Augie Baker already hates Broken Branch, hates that she has to live in the middle of nowhere with the grandparents she hardly knows while her mother recovers from severe burns in Arizona.  It's just her luck that she's now locked inside the school with a madman.  But when she discovers a way to save herself, she can't do it.  Her little brother's inside the school, too, and she refuses to leave without him.  On the outside, Augie's grandfather waits helplessly, not knowing the fates of the grandchildren he's only just getting to know.  After 40 some years of teaching in Broken Branch, Mrs. Oliver's ready to retire.  She plans to end her career quietly, without a fuss, something that changes the minute a man with a gun steps into her classroom.  Now, the 65-year-old educator may be the only thing standing between a desperate, armed man and a school full of innocent children.  

Tension mounts with each passing moment.  While the police fumble around looking for answers, the townspeople grow increasingly antsy.  And angry.  When Meg discovers a personal connection to the gunman, she knows it will be up to her—and only her—to put an end to the madness.

Violence at school is every parent's worst nightmare.  Which is why it makes such excellent fodder for intense, edge-of-your-seat reading.  Add in an inexperienced police team and a snowstorm that cuts them off from any outside assistance and you've got the makings of an A-grade thriller.  That's what I expected from One Breath Away by Heather Gudenkauf after reading its very promising premise.  Did the book deliver?  Not exactly.  While the potential was definitely there, the story started too soon, forcing Gudenkauf to spend too much time filling in back story and not enough on pushing the plot forward.  A little restructuring along with some overall tightening would have resulted in a much more streamlined, pulse-pounding novel.  I still enjoyed One Breath Away, which is, overall, a fast, engrossing novel, I just wanted something more polished and, ultimately, more satisfying.  

(Readalikes:  Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult and Columbine by Dave Cullen)

Grade:  C

If this were a movie, it would be rated:  R for strong language and violence

To the FTC, with love:  I received an ARC of One Breath Away by Heather Gudenkauf from the generous folks at Harlequin/MIRA and Meryl L. Moss Media Relations, Inc.  Thank you!         

Where were you when ...

... President John F. Kennedy was assasinated (November 22, 1963)?

... Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon (July 21, 1969)?

... the Twin Towers fell in New York City (September 11, 2001)?

... Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans and surrounding areas (August 29, 2005)?

Some events are so momentuous - either because of tragedy or triumph - that they remain frozen in our minds forever. While I didn't experience the first event, my mother-in-law did. She remembers - vivdly - watching the news coverage in the sweltering heat of her living room. I wasn't alive when JFK was shot, but my mother recalls getting the news while heading to class at BYU. The last two, however, played out before my eyes on the t.v. screen. I remember the horror, the disbelief, the fear - and that was just from seeing images on the news. At that point, I had visited neither New York City nor New Orleans. I knew no one who lived there. Despite the distance, I grieved for the victims. I'll never forget 9/11 or Katrina.

April 20, 1999 saw a tragedy of another kind. Two high school seniors open-fired on their classmates at Columbine High School near Littleton, Colorado. The news sent my heart straight through the floor. My teenage nieces attended high school in Littleton. Although I'd visited them only 5 months earlier, I couldn't recall the name of their school; I prayed it wasn't Columbine. It wasn't. Still, I remember being glued to the t.v. watching terrified students stream out of the school, an injured boy falling out a window, anchormen/women trying to make sense of the incomprehensible. In the days following the murders, the media ranted about cause: bullies; violent video games and movies; Goth culture; lax gun laws; and inaction by police. Eventually, other news stories captured the nation's attention. Those who, like me, were swept away by other headlines probably remember only a few things about Columbine: teenage killers worn down by constant bullying; a boy falling out a window; a girl martryred for her belief in God; tearful reunions. According to journalist Dave Cullen, we don't know the half of it. In fact, we know even less than we think we know.

Cullen, considered the leading expert on the tragedy, recently published Columbine, a hefty, in-depth look at the event he spent 9 years researching. In it, he writes:

"We remember Columbine as a pair of outcast Goths from the Trench Coat Mafia snapping and tearing through their high school hunting down jocks to settle a long-running feud. Almost none of that happened. No Goths, no outcasts, nobody snapping. No targets, no feud, and no Trench Coat Mafia. Most of those elements existed at Columbine - which is what gave them such currency. They just had nothing to do with the murders" (149).

Cullen's book seeks to set the record straight. With information culled from personal interviews, police reports, journals, video tapes, court records, etc. he leads the reader through the tragedy. He paints the killers in a new light - as intelligent boys who thought, dreamed about and planned "Judgment Day" far in advance. Eric Harris, especially, emerges as a cunning psychopath with a "preposterously grand superiority complex, a revulsion for authority, and an excruciating need for control" (234), who mowed down his peers gleefully, and mostly just to prove that he could. Cullen tracks the police response from initial actions to astonishing cover-ups to lawsuits charging gross mishandling. He talks about the victims - from the controversy surrounding Cassie Bernall's supposed martyrdom to Coach Sanders' undisputed courage to Patrick Ireland's (the boy who pushed himself out the window to safety) painful recovery. Columbine's administrators, faculty, students and their families are also represented - Cullen discusses the fear, the anger, the emotional distress that shook everyone's lives. Exhaustively researched, unflinchingly candid, and absolutely mesmerizing, Columbine offers a riveting look at the nightmare that still haunts so many today.

I

'm going to be honest: I couldn't wait to finish this book. Every time I picked it up, I felt a shiver run down my spine. I'm not sure I've ever read anything so chilling. A couple of years ago, I reviewed Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes (read the review here), a novel about a Columbine-like school shooting. In conclusion, I wrote: "This book scared me to death." That book was fiction. This book is not. I wish it was. Disturbing does not even began to describe Columbine. Still, it's a fascinating, compulsively readable book that will linger in your nightmares long after you've turned the final page. It brings up questions that will churn endlessly in your mind: Could Columbine have been prevented? Do parents ever really know their children? At what point does typical teenage angst turn dangerous? Are some children really born bad? There are no easy answers. Even Cullen can't fully answer the biggest question that sprang out of the Columbine tragedy: Why? He simply presents the evidence - a staggering amount of it - and lets us draw our own conclusions. And what conclusion have I come to? Columbine is unparalleled in its scope, its detail, its research. It's fascinating on every level. But, I've never been more relieved to finish a book. Although some events must be remembered, sometimes all you want to do is forget. Thanks to Columbine by Dave Cullen, I never, ever will.

Grade: A

If this were a movie, it would be rated: R for violence, language and very disturbing content

(Book image from Barnes & Noble)

Jodi Picoult has long been one of my favorite authors, so I was excited to pick up her newest, Nineteen Minutes. Picoult's subjects are always current, and this one is no exception - the novel concerns a shooting at a high school in fictional Sterling, New Hampshire. The tale is told by a number of Sterling's residents, including Alex Cormier, a superior court judge, who fully intends to sit the case although she is racked with guilt for choosing her career over her daughter; Josie Cormier, whose whole life changes because of the incident; Patrick Ducharme, the detective in charge of the case, who finds himself drawn to the tortured judge; Lacy Houghton, the mystified mother of the shooter; and, of course, the shooter himself. It's a testament to Picoult's ability as a writer that she can make all of these characters human and sympathetic. Even Peter, who coldly and systematically murders his classmates, becomes someone with whom the reader can identify. As each of the narrators tells his/her story, we gain a better understanding of how such an event can impact people's lives forever.

Picoult writes with such skill that the town of Sterling and its residents really do come alive. The reader can't help but be drawn in. The book's plotting is tight and perfectly-timed, each page leading expertly toward a suspenseful and surprising end. Although it's a depressing story in many respects, it's a compelling read. The story itself is fast-paced and exciting, but it's the questions it proposes that are far more memorable and haunting. What leads a kid from a good home to kill? How do we put an end to the bullying so many kids endure day in and day out? How do we protect our schools and our children from violence?

Like all of Picoult's book, this one was well-written and thoroughly researched. My big beef with Nineteen Minutes is with its poor editing. There was a passage (page 39), for instance, where Lucy is first shown sitting on Peter's bed. Two paragraphs later, it reads, "Swallowing, Lacy walked into her son's room," although she was still presumedly in the room. In another spot, the wrong name is used. I know these are little things, but they interrupt the flow of the story, bursting the bubble readers create around them when they read. This is my biggest pet peeves. I've never noticed this flaw in Picoult's novels before, and I hope I never do again.

All in all, this wasn't one of my favorite Picoult novels. It is, however, worth the read, as Picoult is a masterful storyteller. I also think it's important for all of us (especially parents) to contemplate the issues presented in the book. That said, I have to warn you: This book scared me to death.