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2026 Bookish Books Reading Challenge (hosted by Yours Truly)

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2026 Cover Lovers Reading Challenge (hosted by Yours Truly)

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Dragon Rambles' Law of Fives Bingo

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2026 Pioneer Book Reading Challenge

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Showing posts with label Self-Help Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-Help Books. Show all posts
Sunday, June 09, 2013

Did It Make Me Think? Yes. Did It Make Me Yawn? Also, Yes.

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

How many times has a frustrated parent lamented, "If only kids came with an instruction manual!"  Well, guess what?  They do.  Yes, really.  And, where might you find this elusive book of parenting advice?  Simply open your scriptures.  Within the pages of the Bible, The Book of Mormon, and other volumes of holy writ, you will find every lesson a person needs to learn in life as well as examples of how to teach it to your children.  In Parenting with Spiritual Power, LDS teacher and author Julie K. Nelson assures parents that if they will study the stories in the scriptures along with teachings from modern prophets, they will have a clear, step-by-step guide to rearing good, obedient children.   

In the book, Nelson discusses 20 powerful doctrines taught in the scriptures that provide valuable lessons for children (and their parents!), including the power of faith, forgiveness, agency, sacrifice and the loving correction of rebellious behavior.  Nelson reviews the stories of famous scriptural people like Moses; Joseph and Mary; Adam and Eve; Alma and Amulek; and Captain Moroni, then discusses how to apply what these people learned in your own life and those of your kids.  Along with quotes from modern-day prophets, Nelson proves how important each of these doctrines are not just for children, but for all of us.

Nelson provides some very useful information in this short book (it's less than 200 pages).  It's nothing parents, especially those of the LDS faith, haven't heard before and yet it's the kind of stuff that can't be repeated often enough.  Still, I found myself growing a little bit bored with Nelson's detailed recountings of stories I've heard over and over throughout my life.  Parenting with Spiritual Power is a short book that felt really long to me.  I'm not sure why because it's not badly written, it's just exactly what you would expect from an LDS parenting book.  There's nothing that really makes Parenting with Spiritual Power stand out.  My conclusion?  This is a helpful book, but not a terribly exciting one.  Did it make me think?  Yes.  Did it make me yawn?  Also, yes.  In the end, it was just an okay read for me.  

(Readalikes:  Hm, I don't read a lot of books like this [although I probably should], so I can't think of anything.  Can you?)

Grade:  B-

If this were a movie, it would be rated:  G for nothing offensive

To the FTC, with love:  I received a finished copy of Parenting with Spiritual Power from the generous Julie K. Nelson via the folks at Cedar Fort.   
Wednesday, September 05, 2012

The One Where I Talk About ... That

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

Let's just get this out of the way right off the bat:  I'm a huge prude.  I don't think that's a bad thing in this tell-all (and on Facebook, no less!) world.  I don't even think I'm that unique, especially not among Mormon women.  Really, I can't be the only girl out there who doesn't like to talk about ... well ... you know ... that.  So, you can imagine my response when I received an email asking me to review a book titled Real Intimacy: A Couple's Guide to Healthy, Genuine Sexuality.  It was that last word that got me (*blush*).  I thought, no way do I want to read about that, let alone write about that.  Then, I paused.  After all, the book was written by three family therapists specifically for married Mormon couples.  Maybe, I could learn something.  So, I read it (I admit to placing a Post-It note over the subtitle so I wouldn't get any curious kiddos asking me what the book was about) and now I'm going to review it.  The blush is already creeping up my cheeks ...

Like I mentioned, Real Intimacy was written by three family therapists (Kristin B. Hodson, Alisha B. Worthington and Thomas G. Harrison), all of whom are LDS and practice in Utah.  Their aim?  To speak to married couples (the advice they give is directed toward Mormon couples, but is applicable to couples of any religion) candidly about sexuality.  This isn't something that happens a lot in most LDS households, which pretty much ensures that young brides and grooms are completely clueless about sex until their wedding nights (and, often, for a long time afterward).  Thus, the authors seek to not just explain the basics, but also to help couples achieve the kind of healthy, nurturing intimacy that makes marriages strong.  

What I like most about the book is the authors' definition of intimacy.  They believe that true intimacy isn't just about sex, but about closeness in four areas—physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual.  Only when all of these are in balance, they say, can we create true oneness.  The authors spend most of the book talking about how couples can find this balance.  They discuss issues that are unique to LDS couples (and others raised in strict religious settings), as well as those that can be found in marriages of all type (pornography, infidelity, sexual abuse, etc.).  Using case studies, they talk about how real couples have confronted and dealt with such issues.  In dealing with your own issues, the authors recommend being frank and honest with your spouse, trusting them with your innermost fears, doubts and insecurities.  While the book does bring up specific sexual issues, it's mostly about communication with and consideration for the most important person in your life.

Real Intimacy is a quick read (less than 200 pages, not including appendices).  Each chapter also includes a "Nuts and Bolts" section which summarizes in about a page what has been talked about in the preceding section.  This makes the book an especially fast and easy read.  Or, if you want the most valuable information (in my opinion, anyway) just read the "His Approach, Her Approach" chapter.  It provides an excellent chart showing how men and women look at things (including sex) in completely different ways.  

All in all, I think Real Intimacy provides some excellent information for married couples.  It's nothing revolutionary, to be sure, and the writing could definitely use some improvement.  I also would have liked more discussion of issues unique to LDS marriages.  Still, it's a valuable book that would be useful for any couple, whether they've been married for 5 months or 50 years.  

Visit the authors' very informative website by clicking here

(Readalikes:  Reminds me of And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura M. Brotherson)

Grade:  B-

If this were a movie, it would be rated:  R, only because it talks about sex in a very frank and straightforward way.  The book is geared toward married adults, which is the audience for whom it is most suited.

To the FTC, with love:  I received an ARC of Real Intimacy from the generous folks at Cedar Fort via the lovely ladies over at SparkPoint Studio, LLC.  Thank you!        
Wednesday, December 29, 2010

'Cause, Really, Who Can't Use More Happiness?

(Image from Indiebound)

As 2010 drifts into 2011, I've been thinking a lot about what I did/did not accomplish this year and what I hope to get out of the next 365 days. I've asked myself the big, deep questions: "What did I learn this year?"; "What am I doing right?"; "What areas of my life need improving?"; and "What goals do I need to set now in order to ensure that I'm a kinder/skinnier/smarter/more organized person this time next year?" I didn't, however, ponder how to be a happier person because, really, I'm already pretty happy. Sure, there are things about myself I'd like to improve, but overall, I'm satisfied with who I am, what I'm doing and where I'm going. Happy. That's me. And yet, I suppose I could stand to be happier. Who couldn't, right?
Gretchen Rubin, a New Yorker with a successful writing career, a strong marriage and two adoring daughters, felt much the same way. She was already happy, but wondered if she could be happier simply by revamping certain areas of her life. In other words, as she relates, "I didn't want to reject my life. I wanted to change my life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen" (12). To achieve this, she launched a year-long self-improvement program which she discusses in her book The Happiness Project. Using each month to focus on enhancing different aspects of her existence brought Rubin a variety of experiences, everything from ridicule to triumph to aggravation to euphoria. Did it make her a happier person? Yes, she insists, and it can do the same for you.
The Happiness Project is more of a memoir than a step-by-step manual for achieving joy. Still, Rubin's musings offer great insight into what it means and what it takes to truly be happy. The idea which impacted me most was Rubin's discovery that she had to embrace activities she knew would appeal to her instead of those she thought should appeal to her. Above all else, she vowed to be true to the person she already was.
Unlike most volumes of this type, Rubin's guide doesn't read like a self-help book. It's more personal, more readable, more honest, and more forgiving. The author doesn't profess herself to be some all-knowing guru - she's just an average Jane trying to make herself into a better person. Her account is humble, humorous and, most of all, heartening. It's not the most exciting thing I've read this year, but The Happiness Project definitely made me think. And resolve to try my own version of a happiness project. After all, more happiness never hurt anyone, right?
If you're interested in trying your own happiness project, check out Gretchen Rubin's helpful Happiness Project Blog.
(Readalikes: Um, I can't think of any. Can you?)
Grade: B-
If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG-13 only because the sh-word is used one time. There are also some vague references to sex.
To the FTC, with love: I received an ARC of The Happiness Project from the generous folks at Harper Collins. Thank you!
Friday, July 24, 2009

It's Not the Bible, But It'll Do In A Pinch

I have a confession to make: Like many a BYU student, I spent my college years toting around a Franklin planner. Like many graduates, I continued to lug it around long after my student days ended. For a good 12 years or so, it accompanied me everywhere. My husband affectionately dubbed it my Brain. A couple years ago, I realized I wasn't using it enough to justify the high cost of yearly refill paper, so I abandoned it. Now, I scratch out my daily To Do list on a legal pad. It's not nearly as pretty, but it's much, much cheaper. Despite the fact that I no longer carry around a Franklin planner, I still consider Stephen R. Covey to be a time management God. I swear I haven't read anything original on the subject since the publication of his Bible, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in 1989. Every time management how-to I've read since then seems to simply parrot Covey's ideas. Just so we're clear - if you're only going to read one book on the subject, make it Covey's.

Considering my Franklin/Covey obsession, it's probably not hard to understand why I approached Time Management In An Instant with skepticism. Could it really contain anything new? Since it's a slim volume promising learning "in an instant," I asked myself, "Hey - what have you got to lose?" The answer was nothing, so I gave it a shot. Did this Steven R. Covey devotee learn anything new? Not really, but I did gain some new insight on some old time management techniques. And while it didn't happen "in an instant," it did happen pretty darn fast.

The authors of Time Management In An Instant, Karen Leland and Keith Bailey, run Sterling Consulting Group. As consultants, they have advised such companies as Microsoft, AT&T, Johnson & Johnson and Marriott Hotels. They've co-authored several books together. With such success under their belts, it's safe to assume they know a little something about effective time management. According to them, increasing efficiency boils down to 3 core principles: Planning, eliminating distractions, and accomplishing tasks through doing or delegating. In 60 quick chapters, they tell you exactly how to accomplish this. Each section contains exercises, tips and Hot Hints on relevant topics, like how to set realistic goals, how to make the most of business meetings, the importance of taking real vacations, and how to delegate effectively. While it doesn't say anything you don't already know, it does underscore the importance of basic time management principles.

Most of the information in the book applies directly to business professionals, which means it doesn't quite translate into my life as a SAHM (I only wish I could convince my kids not to distract me simply by hanging a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my cubicle). However, there were a couple of concepts that really rang true to me. One is the idea that "time can't really be managed (an hour is an hour) [but] your energy can" (41). They emphasize that completed tasks boost your energy, while lingering jobs zap it. Hence, when I straighten my house before I go to bed, I wake up feeling better than if I don't. The other is the importance of getting a good night's sleep. Yes, I know this is as basic as it gets, but I can't think of anything else that effects my efficiency as much as exhaustion. So, while Time Management In An Instant offers plenty of great advice on filing systems, how to deal with e-mail, and how to choose the right planner for you (Go, Franklin!), this is what jumped out most to me.

Yes, I'm still a Steven R. Covey groupie. Still, if you want to learn the basic principles of time management and you don't have a lot of time, Time Management In An Instant is the way to go. It's fast, to-the-point, and the perfect size for toting along in your briefcase. It can't replace a Bible like 7 Habits, but it's excellent as a quick, basic reference guide.

Now, to prove what a good little student I am, I'm headed off to bed. Watch out, world - tomorrow, I'm going to be a laundry-folding, cookie-baking, dust-sweeping machine. Now, where did I put that "Do Not Disturb" sign ...

Grade: B

If this were a movie, it would be rated: G (although the subject matter might be a little dull for children)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Sitting Swing: Transcending the Need to Blame

Oh, the blame game. I loathe it. One of my big pet peeves is people who can't accept responsibility for their own actions, people who always have someone (or something) else to blame for their misfortunes. So, I guess it's not surprising that I spent the first half of Irene Watson's The Sitting Swing despising the author. I mean, I felt for little Irene who grew up with parents so cold and overprotective that they damaged their daughter emotionally, socially and (on occasion) physically. However, I wanted to strangle her when she made excuses like:

"This situation developed because I was a second child without a sibling to look to for example, without a parent to look to for example either, because Mom was my clear and present enemy, and Dad was around for meals and bedtime and that was about it. He wasn't any protection from the enemy, so he was, in this scenario, in the bad camp" (104-105).

Used to the stoic example of my mother, who grew up with an emotionally abusive, alcoholic father, but went on to become one of the most caring, content adults I know, I just don't buy the idea that a traumatic childhood automatically begets a miserable adulthood. Luckily, I missed Irene Watson's point completely. Her book isn't about blaming; it's about transcending the need to blame.

The Sitting Swing is Watson's story of coming to terms with her childhood, a period that left her broken-hearted and bitter. The first half of the book describes her early years in rural Canada. Living on an isolated farm in Alberta, Irene spent the majority of her time with her mother, a hard woman made even more so by the loss of her first child. Under her tutelage, Irene learned that everything she said, did or thought was wrong. Although her mother claimed to want only the best for Irene, she routinely ignored, rationalized or waved away problems Irene brought to her attention, even when they involved outright abuse. Not surprisingly, young Irene turned into an angry, rebellious young woman. Even after she married, she couldn't shake her mother's constant criticism. Years later, Irene was still so crippled by the hurts she suffered in childhood that she checked herself into a treatment center.

The second half of the book describes Avalon, and the 12-step program Irene went through there. Through the process, she learns to accept responsibility for her own reactions, stop blaming the past for her current problems, and start fulfilling her life's true purpose. Although her time at the treatment center was difficult and humiliating, it was also cathartic and illuminating. The experience allowed her to move past her childhood and become a successful author and businesswoman.
Although I found the author's story inspirational, it was told in such an odd way that I had trouble sticking with it. Her tone is conversational, making the book very readable. However, it's so casual that she tends to meander, losing focus and straying from the points she's attempting to get across. The first part of the book, in which Watson paints a portrait of her early years, is almost compulsively readable. However, once Watson comes to her marriage, the narrative stops. Before we even get a chance to know her as a newlywed, we're given a grown up Irene who's now a mother, a therapist, and a woman on the brink of divorce. She's also a woman whose turned herself in for intensive counseling because of vague childhood trauma. We see her go through Avalon and emerge as a whole, healed human being. We never really learn about her marriage, her children or her adult relationships with her parents. It's like she gives us the beginning and ending of her life story, but no middle. Without it, I felt lost, like I was missing some vital information.

My other big beef with this book is that once Watson started talking about her 12-step program, I started to lose interest. This section included very long paragraphs of dialogue from her counselors; I admit I started skimming, since all I really wanted to know was what Watson got out of the program and if it helped her patch up her life. In the end, she learns to forgive and forget, but she seems to receive no insight into what made her mother tick. Although she goes back to her childhood home and tries to get information out of an uncle, she never confronts her mother, which made the whole book seem unresolved to me. I really wanted to know what happened between her and her mother, how they related (or didn't relate) as adults and if she ever talked to her mother about the injustices she suffered as a child. Without all this, Watson's story just didn't seem complete.

All in all, I didn't love or hate this one. Some of it was engrossing, some of it wasn't. Some of it was illuminating, some of it wasn't. So, I'm ambivalent. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it.

Grade: C

If this was a movie, it would be rated: R (for language and references to sexual/adult situations, although more implied than graphic)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I Have To Be Honest: The New IQ Just Isn't For Me

What if the answers to all the world's problems could be found between the covers of a book?
I'm not talking about the Bible here, but The New IQ by psychologist David Gruder. The author insists that he's found a cure for the planet's ills - it all lies in upping one's Integrity Quotient (IQ, for short).

Before I go on, I should explain Gruder's definition of integrity. I've heard the word used at church my whole life - if you asked me to define it, I would say that it means honesty. Gruder agrees, but takes it one step further: "Integrity is the wholeness that comes when we are fully authentic as an individual, compassionate and effective co-creators with others, and servants of collective highest good. The essence of integrity is this three-dimensional alignment" (41). Thus, according to Gruder, we can be "in" or "out of" integrity. Whereas I thought of it only as something you had or didn't have, I found the author's definition interesting. He goes on to say that every person has three "Core Drives" that must be in harmony in order for them to have happy, successful lives: Authentic self-expression; Connection with others; and Making a positive difference in the world. Balanced Drives bring fulfillment; unbalanced Drives create unhappiness, lack of fulfillment and selfishness.

Obviously, we want the former results, so, the question becomes, how do we create lives that are in integrity with our Core Drives? According to Gruder, we must shake off the inauthentic methods we used to survive childhood (coping mechanisms, survival plans, anesthesias, etc.) and learn to live authentically. Part of this means learning from our experiences. It also means getting away from a "me, me, me" attitude and looking toward the collective good. It also involves embracing Gruder's 7 WisePassions: Teachability; Self-care; Discernment; Harvesting; Power; Synergy; and Stewardship. If everyone lived in accordance with these values - if, indeed, they were taught in schools and modeled by parents, government leaders, business executives, etc. - the world would be cured of its many ills. Says Gruder:

Imagine the kind of world that is created when communities, businesses and countries are populated by unfulfilled people who are out of integrity with themselves, their relationships or collective highest good. The picture you will see is the world in which we live today (268).

Now, I don't know if Gruder's book really holds the answers to global harmony, but a worldwide increase in integrity can never be a bad thing. The idea is certainly intriguing.

The New IQ has its interesting points, but, overall, I was a bit bored with it. I felt as if I had heard it all before. Gruder writes with authority, but his style wasn't engaging enough to keep me interested. Furthermore, all of his labels confused me. I couldn't tell if I was a Natural Developer or a Deliberate Developer, a Do-Gooder or a Self-Improver or a Connector. I wasn't sure if I had a Survival Plan or a Redemption Plan, and couldn't tell if I used my Transformation Periods in the way I was supposed to. So, while I thought Gruder's concept was interesting, I found his explanation confusing and dull. I'm still not sure whether I'm living "in integrity" with my Core Drives, but I'm being perfectly honest when I say, The New IQ just wasn't for me.

Grade: C
Thursday, April 30, 2009

Lloyd Watts' Money Guide A Good Place to Start

(Image from Barnes & Noble)

With the U.S. economy crumbling around us, it's no wonder everyone has money on the brain. We all want to know how to get it, how to keep it, and how to use it most wisely. Even those with money in the bank are creating budgets, forgoing large purchases and begging their penny-pinching, coupon-clipping, frugal-minded friends for tips We all want to know how to survive, let alone thrive, in this down economy.

Lloyd Watts, PhD, who is the Chairman and Chief Technology Officer of Audience, Inc., which he began in 2000, has the answers. Not only does he know how to generate wealth, but he describes the process in simple, straightforward language that even the most financially clueless person (me) can understand. Basically, his philosophy involves keeping living expenses low and using money to invest in things which generate passive income. This way, you no longer have to rely on job income. He suggests spending less than you make; paying a percentage of your salary into an investment account; using funds in the investment account for things that will generate passive income; and delaying instant gratification in favor of long-term financial independence, among other methods. He also advocates cutting up credit cards and getting away from the "Piggy Bank and Allowance" idea, which basically teaches us to save until we have enough for a coveted item, then spend all our money on that product. His idea is that investing in our financial future means that not only can we enjoy a more peaceful existence, but also that we can use our resources to give back to our communities by fulfilling our "higher purpose."

Although Watts says that managing time works much in the same way as managing money, he doesn't spend nearly enough space explaining how. His rushed advice basically boils down to use a planner. So, while I was thrilled with his money advice (which makes so much sense, even to me), I was disappointed with the measly section on time management.

All in all, I found The Flow of Time and Money to be an excellent overview of how to manage money wisely in order to create a stable financial future. For those already versed in the subject, the book may be too simplistic. For me, however, it provided a quick, clear introduction to managing, investing and generating income. I wanted the same kind of advice on time management, but ended up disappointed with Watts' rush-rush treatment of the subject. So, for the most part, I found this book useful, especially because of the clear, easy-to-understand way that Watts presents his material. If the economy has you down, do what Watts suggests and educate yourself - The Flow of Time and Money is a good place to start.


Grade: B

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Suzy Welch Explains How to Make Your Decision A Perfect 10

If you've read one book about efficiency, chances are it's Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In it, Covey popularized the idea of proactivity - or acting purposefully instead of passively. In 10-10-10, journalist and O Magazine columnist Suzy Welch, introduces a companion idea, a way to think proactively. According to Welch, this simple action can be life-altering.

So, what is 10-10-10 exactly? It's a tool that can help you "forge an intentional life, choice by choice" (29). Okay, how? By using this formula every time you have to make a decision: What consequences will my choice bring in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years? According to Welch, it really doesn't even have to be that literal. Really, "The name of the process is just a totem meant to directionally suggest time frames along the lines of: in the heat of the moment, somewhat later, and when all is said and done" (11). Instead of making snap decisions, Welch suggests thinking them through more carefully. By doing so, we can actually "create who we will become" (49) in the future.

I know, I know - it doesn't seem revolutionary. It's not even terribly original. However, Welch insists that it works and that it has wrought incredible change in people's lives. Don't believe her? She's got examples. Lots of them. Using her own experiences as well as those of friends and clients, she explains how to use 10-10-10 to make proactive decisions in the workplace, in romantic relationships and in parenting situations. The idea encourages action over procrastination, deliberate choice over trusting one's gut, and acting with the future in mind instead of focusing just on the present. In other words, "The process empowers us to override the counterproductive tendencies of our own minds. It helps us help ourselves" (34).

By the last 1/3 of 10-10-10, I felt that Welch had analyzed a simple concept to death. However, because her voice is so appealing, the book never became boring. Her style is conversational, real, and funny. She admits mistakes, laughs at herself and generally makes you feel as if you're chatting with a good friend who happened to stumble on a rather bright idea. I would "10-10-10" with her anytime. If the book had been written by anyone else, I may not have found it so enjoyable. As is, I'm glad I read it - 10-10-10 is quick, enlightening and fun. Revolutionary? No. Enjoyable? Absolutely. You don't need to examine this decision too closely - just read the book already.

Grade: B


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Crap Economy Got You Down? Find Joy With Sheri Kaye Hoff

Considering current economic woes, I think it's fair to say that people are probably not feeling at their most joyful right now. After all, it's difficult to smile when you're losing your job, your home, and everything else that makes you feel secure. Thus, Keys to Living Joyfully, a new book by life coach Sheri Kaye Hoff comes at an opportune time for anyone who is not feeling exactly joyful right now.

I'm going to be honest with you - you're not going to learn anything you don't already know from Hoff's book. Her methods are familiar - she advocates prayer, meditation, reciting mantras and making gratitude lists among other practices - even cliche. You will find similar techniques in every self-help book ever written. However, as we all know, cliches become cliches because there is truth behind them. So, while the concepts Hoff discusses are not new, it's always good to review them. Hoff does that, infusing the familiar ideas with her own brand of positive, hopeful energy. Her book is especially useful if you want a quick, refresher course and don't have time to commit to big hitters like Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or John C. Maxwell's volumes on leadership.

The one thing from Hoff's book that did make an impact on me is this: "I am responsible for the level of joy that I experience in my life. My circumstances do not create joy, my approach to life and my thoughts about my life contribute to the level or lack of joy in my life" (33). Again, this is not a new concept, but it's such an important thing to remember. I can't tell you how many people I know who look to their spouses, their parents, their possessions or their friends to make them happy. Not surprisingly, these are the least happy people I know. Like Hoff, I believe a person is responsible for their own joy. If they don't have it, she suggests ways to create more "happy" - living in the now, firgiving/forgetting, visualizing a joyful life, and finding your life's passion.

Another thing I thought was really interesting is that Hoff encourages her readers to pay an honest tithe as a step toward acknowledging the abundance they have in their lives, an important key to living more joyfully. This is a concept I often hear recommended from LDS pulpits (and one I wholeheartedly believe in), but I don't think I've ever heard it mentioned in a non-LDS book. Hoff's experience with receiving blessings from paying tithes to her church will ring true for Mormons especially.

All in all, I enjoyed Keys to Living Joyfully. With the exception of tithe-paying, it doesn't really teach anything new, but it does provide a quick, hopeful reminder of ways to cope with the fear and unhappiness that can plague us all. In uncertain times, there is only one thing you can control - you. Sheri Kaye Hoff will remind you how.

Grade: C

Monday, August 18, 2008

Got College Questions? Ask the "Experts" with Easty-to-Read Guide

(Image from Barnes & Noble)


College is all about thinking for yourself, but the authors of How to Survive Your Freshman Year by Hundreds of College Students Who Did (and some things to avoid, from a few dropouts who didn't) aim to prove that many heads are actually better than the mind of one scared, confused freshman. In their definitive (yet not so definitive) guide, Mark Bernstein and Yadin Kaufmann follow the easy style of past Hundreds of Heads how-to books to dole out advice to first-time college students. The book offers expert opinions on everything from stocking your dorm room to choosing classes to getting along with roommates. The experts? Current and former students (oh yeah, and a handful of dropouts).

The book is divided into sections, each with a skimpy introduction and several pages of advice from the experts I described above. Their responses are honest and unfiltered, written in their own, individual voices. It really is like sitting down and chatting with a group of friends. Of course, some of those friends are wise, some are funny, and some are downright bizarre. So beware. Just like having a real conversation, you have to filter out the good advice from the bad. The authors draw no conclusions for you. Thus, if you're looking for a definitive guide, this may not be the one for you. Still, I think the "experts" come up with some pretty good stuff.


Like I said, some of the students are wise, instructing freshmen to bring with them patience, an open mind and a "blank slate" (7). Others are completely practical, advising dorm dwellers to communicate with their roommates during the summer so they can get to know each other and avoid bringing duplicate items. Some of the information rates high on the "duh" scale, as when Hilary Tress, a junior at New York University says, "Bring warm clothes if you go to school up north. I'm from Miami and I didn't know what a winter coat was. Now I have a couple, and an umbrella" (7). My favorite advice is from the class clowns, who chime in with these gems:

"If you're going to steal furniture for your dorm room, steal it from the lounge. They won't find it until they spray for bugs over spring break - then you only have a few weeks of classes left anyway." - J.G., Florida State University, Graduate (p. 59)


"Do a lot of things your mother would disapprove of. Tattoos, body piercing, spring break trips; as long as you can act like an adult, the sky's the limit." - Anonymous, Mississippi State University (p. 215)

"Fall in love with someone in your class right away; student, T.A., professor, whomever. You'll be hard-pressed to skip class. If there is no one in your class to love, then pick someone to hate and show up every day to make his or her life a living hell." - S.P., University of Georgia, Graduate (p. 107)


Like I said, the students' advice remains unfiltered, touching topics like drinking, drugs and having sex in the dorms. I have to say upfront that I went through 4 years of college without doing any of those things, but apparently, life at the most sober school in America (BYU) is not considered normal. The book also covers topics I never had to deal with, considering things like Facebook and MySpace were not around back in the Dark Ages when I went to college. So, even though some of the information won't be relevant to you personally, How to Survive Your Freshman Year does offer some good, solid information for college-bound freshman. Given its quick, easy format, this is one book a new freshman might actually read.

Grade: B

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Journey From Head to Heart Just Not My Cup of Tea

Do you ever feel as if you're not living the life you're meant to be living? Do you feel as if outside stressors are shoving you in a direction you don't want go? If so, you may want to check out Nancy Oelklaus' new book, Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically. Using neuroscience mingled with scriptures, she shows readers how to free themselves from disparate voices and listen to their inner Voice. Adherence to the Voice (intuition, the Holy Ghost, the soul, whatever you want to call it) ensures that individuals live their most authentic lives.

If it sounds confusing, it is a little. As I read, I found myself wondering if I was living an authentic life or not. I was hoping for a quiz I could take that would answer this question, but all I found were confusing graphs showing The Energy Analysis, which didn't make any sense to me. Figuring I could probably stand to live more authentically anyway, I tried to figure out how to do it. Oelklaus gives some guidelines: rid yourself of pain through forgiveness; be still and open yourself to whisperings from the Voice; focus on making choices for yourself, not just to please other people; and send out good vibes (or mirror neurons). What she doesn't give is a specific plan, with concrete steps. She does provide several interesting tools, some of which I liked (the idea of The Circle, with desired traits inside and undesirables outside), others of which were way too corny (talking to a childhood photo of yourself or writing yourself love letters).

I didn't find a lot of new information in Oelklaus' book, but I did like her idea of cultivating stillness in your life. Like the author, I think we are all so overstimulated by tv, Internet, music, video games, etc. that we never really stop to listen to our inner voices. She says, "if people could just get still, something inside their brains would tell them what to do next" (19).
Overall, this was a difficult read for me. It was so dense that I found myself skipping through sections to get to the "good stuff." There were some valuable insights, but I found most of her techniques to be too vague for me. I guess I was hoping for someway to discern whether or not I was living as authentically as I could, and then a plan to show me the way to more authentic living. Perhaps I am supposed to be finding those answers from the Voice. Or perhaps I'm just so tired that I missed the point completely.

Journey from Head to Heart received glowing reviews on Amazon, so it's definitely worth checking out. It just wasn't my cup of tea.



Grade: C


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