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Did It Make Me Think? Yes. Did It Make Me Yawn? Also, Yes.
How many times has a frustrated parent lamented, "If only kids came with an instruction manual!" Well, guess what? They do. Yes, really. And, where might you find this elusive book of parenting advice? Simply open your scriptures. Within the pages of the Bible, The Book of Mormon, and other volumes of holy writ, you will find every lesson a person needs to learn in life as well as examples of how to teach it to your children. In Parenting with Spiritual Power, LDS teacher and author Julie K. Nelson assures parents that if they will study the stories in the scriptures along with teachings from modern prophets, they will have a clear, step-by-step guide to rearing good, obedient children. The One Where I Talk About ... That
Let's just get this out of the way right off the bat: I'm a huge prude. I don't think that's a bad thing in this tell-all (and on Facebook, no less!) world. I don't even think I'm that unique, especially not among Mormon women. Really, I can't be the only girl out there who doesn't like to talk about ... well ... you know ... that. So, you can imagine my response when I received an email asking me to review a book titled Real Intimacy: A Couple's Guide to Healthy, Genuine Sexuality. It was that last word that got me (*blush*). I thought, no way do I want to read about that, let alone write about that. Then, I paused. After all, the book was written by three family therapists specifically for married Mormon couples. Maybe, I could learn something. So, I read it (I admit to placing a Post-It note over the subtitle so I wouldn't get any curious kiddos asking me what the book was about) and now I'm going to review it. The blush is already creeping up my cheeks ...'Cause, Really, Who Can't Use More Happiness?
(Image from Indiebound)It's Not the Bible, But It'll Do In A Pinch
I have a confession to make: Like many a BYU student, I spent my college years toting around a Franklin planner. Like many graduates, I continued to lug it around long after my student days ended. For a good 12 years or so, it accompanied me everywhere. My husband affectionately dubbed it my Brain. A couple years ago, I realized I wasn't using it enough to justify the high cost of yearly refill paper, so I abandoned it. Now, I scratch out my daily To Do list on a legal pad. It's not nearly as pretty, but it's much, much cheaper. Despite the fact that I no longer carry around a Franklin planner, I still consider Stephen R. Covey to be a time management God. I swear I haven't read anything original on the subject since the publication of his Bible, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in 1989. Every time management how-to I've read since then seems to simply parrot Covey's ideas. Just so we're clear - if you're only going to read one book on the subject, make it Covey's. 
The Sitting Swing: Transcending the Need to Blame
Oh, the blame game. I loathe it. One of my big pet peeves is people who can't accept responsibility for their own actions, people who always have someone (or something) else to blame for their misfortunes. So, I guess it's not surprising that I spent the first half of Irene Watson's The Sitting Swing despising the author. I mean, I felt for little Irene who grew up with parents so cold and overprotective that they damaged their daughter emotionally, socially and (on occasion) physically. However, I wanted to strangle her when she made excuses like:
I Have To Be Honest: The New IQ Just Isn't For Me

Obviously, we want the former results, so, the question becomes, how do we create lives that are in integrity with our Core Drives? According to Gruder, we must shake off the inauthentic methods we used to survive childhood (coping mechanisms, survival plans, anesthesias, etc.) and learn to live authentically. Part of this means learning from our experiences. It also means getting away from a "me, me, me" attitude and looking toward the collective good. It also involves embracing Gruder's 7 WisePassions: Teachability; Self-care; Discernment; Harvesting; Power; Synergy; and Stewardship. If everyone lived in accordance with these values - if, indeed, they were taught in schools and modeled by parents, government leaders, business executives, etc. - the world would be cured of its many ills. Says Gruder:

Lloyd Watts' Money Guide A Good Place to Start
(Image from Barnes & Noble)With the U.S. economy crumbling around us, it's no wonder everyone has money on the brain. We all want to know how to get it, how to keep it, and how to use it most wisely. Even thos
e with money in the bank are creating budgets, forgoing large purchases and begging their penny-pinching, coupon-clipping, frugal-minded friends for tips We all want to know how to survive, let alone thrive, in this down economy.
Lloyd Watts, PhD, who is the Chairman and Chief Technology Officer of Audience, Inc., which he began in 2000, has the answers. Not only does he know how to generate wealth, but he describes the process in simple, straightforward language that even the most financially clueless person (me) can understand. Basically, his philosophy involves keeping living expenses low and using money to invest in things which generate passive income. This way, you no longer have to rely on job income. He suggests spending less than you make; paying a percentage of your salary into an investment account; using funds in the investment account for things that will generate passive income; and delaying instant gratification in favor of long-term financial independence, among other methods. He also advocates cutting up credit cards and getting away from the "Piggy Bank and Allowance" idea, which basically teaches us to save until we have enough for a coveted item, then spend all our money on that product. His idea is that investing in our financial future means that not only can we enjoy a more peaceful existence, but also that we can use our resources to give back to our communities by fulfilling our "higher purpose."
Although Watts says that managing time works much in the same way as managing money, he doesn't spend nearly enough space explaining how. His rushed advice basically boils down to use a planner. So, while I was thrilled with his money advice (which makes so much sense, even to me), I was disappointed with the measly section on time management.
All in all, I found The Flow of Time and Money to be an excellent overview of how to manage money wisely in order to create a stable financial future. For those already versed in the subject, the book may be too simplistic. For me, however, it provided a quick, clear introduction to managing, investing and generating income. I wanted the same kind of advice on time management, but ended up disappointed with Watts' rush-rush treatment of the subject. So, for the most part, I found this book useful, especially because of the clear, easy-to-understand way that Watts presents his material. If the economy has you down, do what Watts suggests and educate yourself - The Flow of Time and Money is a good place to start.
Grade: B
Suzy Welch Explains How to Make Your Decision A Perfect 10
If you've read one book about efficiency, chances are it's Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In it, Covey popularized the idea of proactivity - or acting purposefully instead of passively. In 10-10-10, journalist and O Magazine columnist Suzy Welch, introduces a companion idea, a way to think proactively. According to Welch, this simple action can be life-altering.
Crap Economy Got You Down? Find Joy With Sheri Kaye Hoff
Considering current economic woes, I think it's fair to say that people are probably not feeling at their most joyful right now. After all, it's difficult to smile when you're losing your job, your home, and everything else that makes you feel secure. Thus, Keys to Living Joyfully, a new book by life coach Sheri Kaye Hoff comes at an opportune time for anyone who is not feeling exactly joyful right now.I'm going to be honest with you - you're not going to learn anything you don't already know from Hoff's book. Her methods are familiar - she advocates prayer, meditation, reciting mantras and making gratitude lists among other practices - even cliche. You will find similar techniques in every self-help book ever written. However, as we all know, cliches become cliches because there is truth behind them. So, while the concepts Hoff discusses are not new, it's always good to review them. Hoff does that, infusing the familiar ideas with her own brand of positive, hopeful energy. Her book is especially useful if you want a quick, refresher course and don't have time to commit to big hitters like Stephen R. Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or John C. Maxwell's volumes on leadership.
The one thing from Hoff's book that did make an impact on me is this: "I am responsible for the level of joy that I experience in my life. My circumstances do not create joy, my approach to life and my thoughts about my life contribute to the level or lack of joy in my life" (33). Again, this is not a new concept, but it's such an important thing to remember. I can't tell you how many people I know who look to their spouses, their parents, their possessions or their friends to make them happy. Not surprisingly, these are the least happy people I know. Like Hoff, I believe a person is responsible for their own joy. If they don't have it, she suggests ways to create more "happy" - living in the now, firgiving/forgetting, visualizing a joyful life, and finding your life's passion.
Another thing I thought was really interesting is that Hoff encourages her readers to pay an honest tithe as a step toward acknowledging the abundance they have in their lives, an important key to living more joyfully. This is a concept I often hear recommended from LDS pulpits (and one I wholeheartedly believe in), but I don't think I've ever heard it mentioned in a non-LDS book. Hoff's experience with receiving blessings from paying tithes to her church will ring true for Mormons especially.
All in all, I enjoyed Keys to Living Joyfully. With the exception of tithe-paying, it doesn't really teach anything new, but it does provide a quick, hopeful reminder of ways to cope with the fear and unhappiness that can plague us all. In uncertain times, there is only one thing you can control - you. Sheri Kaye Hoff will remind you how.
Grade: C
Got College Questions? Ask the "Experts" with Easty-to-Read Guide
(Image from Barnes & Noble)College is all about thinking for yourself, but the authors of How to Survive Your Freshman Year by Hundreds of College Students Who Did (and some things to avoid, from a few dropouts who didn't) aim to prove that many heads are actually better than the mind of one scared, confused freshman. In their definitive (yet not so definitive) guide, Mark Bernstein and Yadin Kaufmann follow the easy style of past Hundreds of Heads how-to books to dole out advice to first-time college students. The book offers expert opinions on everything from stocking your dorm room to choosing classes to getting along with roommates. The experts? Current and former students (oh yeah, and a handful of dropouts).
The book is divided into sections, each with a skimpy introduction and several pages of advice from the experts I described above. Their responses are honest and unfiltered, written in their own, individual voices. It really is like sitting down and chatting with a group of friends. Of course, some of those friends are wise, some are funny, and some are downright bizarre. So beware. Just like having a real conversation, you have to filter out the good advice from the bad. The authors draw no conclusions for you. Thus, if you're looking for a definitive guide, this may not be the one for you. Still, I think the "experts" come up with some pretty good stuff.Like I said, some of the students are wise, instructing freshmen to bring with them patience, an open mind and a "blank slate" (7). Others are completely practical, advising dorm dwellers to communicate with their roommates during the summer so they can get to know each other and avoid bringing duplicate items. Some of the information rates high on the "duh" scale, as when Hilary Tress, a junior at New York University says, "Bring warm clothes if you go to school up north. I'm from Miami and I didn't know what a winter coat was. Now I have a couple, and an umbrella" (7). My favorite advice is from the class clowns, who chime in with these gems:
"If you're going to steal furniture for your dorm room, steal it from the lounge. They won't find it until they spray for bugs over spring break - then you only have a few weeks of classes left anyway." - J.G., Florida State University, Graduate (p. 59)"Do a lot of things your mother would disapprove of. Tattoos, body piercing, spring break trips; as long as you can act like an adult, the sky's the limit." - Anonymous, Mississippi State University (p. 215)
"Fall in love with someone in your class right away; student, T.A., professor, whomever. You'll be hard-pressed to skip class. If there is no one in your class to love, then pick someone to hate and show up every day to make his or her life a living hell." - S.P., University of Georgia, Graduate (p. 107)Like I said, the students' advice remains unfiltered, touching topics like drinking, drugs and having sex in the dorms. I have to say upfront that I went through 4 years of college without doing any of those things, but apparently, life at the most sober school in America (BYU) is not considered normal. The book also covers topics I never had to deal with, considering things like Facebook and MySpace were not around back in the Dark Ages when I went to college. So, even though some of the information won't be relevant to you personally, How to Survive Your Freshman Year does offer some good, solid information for college-bound freshman. Given its quick, easy format, this is one book a new freshman might actually read.
Grade: B

Journey From Head to Heart Just Not My Cup of Tea
Do you ever feel as if you're not living the life you're meant to be living? Do you feel as if outside stressors are shoving you in a direction you don't want go? If so, you may want to check out Nancy Oelklaus' new book, Journey from Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically. Using neuroscience mingled with scriptures, she shows readers how to free themselves from disparate voices and listen to their inner Voice. Adherence to the Voice (intuition, the Holy Ghost, the soul, whatever you want to call it) ensures that individuals live their most authentic lives.If it sounds confusing, it is a little. As I read, I found myself wondering if I was living an authentic life or not. I was hoping for a quiz I could take that would answer this question, but all I found were confusing graphs showing The Energy Analysis, which didn't make any sense to me. Figuring I could probably stand to live more authentically anyway, I tried to figure out how to do it. Oelklaus gives some guidelines: rid yourself of pain through forgiveness; be still and open yourself to whisperings from the Voice; focus on making choices for yourself, not just to please other people; and send out good vibes (or mirror neurons). What she doesn't give is a specific plan, with concrete steps. She does provide several interesting tools, some of which I liked (the idea of The Circle, with desired traits inside and undesirables outside), others of which were way too corny (talking to a childhood photo of yourself or writing yourself love letters).
Overall, this was a difficult read for me. It was so dense that I found myself skipping through sections to get to the "good stuff." There were some valuable insights, but I found most of her techniques to be too vague for me. I guess I was hoping for someway to discern whether or not I was living as authentically as I could, and then a plan to show me the way to more authentic living. Perhaps I am supposed to be finding those answers from the Voice. Or perhaps I'm just so tired that I missed the point completely.


Readin'
Beach Thriller by Jamie Day
Listenin'
Hidden Rooms by Kate Michaelson
Followin' with Bloglovin'
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2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge
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