When her husband announces—out of the blue—that he's accepted a new job outside the city, it throws Lainie Smith Morris' life into a tailspin.  A consummate New Yorker, she can't imagine leaving Manhattan for some boring, land-locked suburban town.  The energy of the city thrums through her veins, feeding her soul like her apartment's view of the Hudson River inspires the seascapes that have brought her notoriety as an up-and-coming artist.  Lainie knows how important it is for her husband, an orthopedic surgeon who grew up on an upstate dairy farm, to prove that he's "made it," but she can't help resenting a move that will tear her away from the life she loves.

To keep the peace, Lainie moves to Elliot, New Jersey, with her husband, four children, and the kids' nanny.  It doesn't take long for her to feel completely intimidated by the snooty, image-obsessed suburbanites who now surround her.  Even the local art community seems to be snubbing her, with her pedestrian little collages.  Although she soaks herself in the town pool every chance she gets, Lainie feels like a fish out of water—no matter how hard she flaps her fins, she's just not making any headway.  As Charles becomes increasingly hostile over his wife's apparent refusal to fit in, Lainie feels hurt, angry, and lost.

Enter Jess Howard.  A beautiful, wealthy socialite, Jess is not thrilled to find that Lainie Smith Morris—of all people—has moved to Elliot.  Having spent summers in Cape May together as teenagers, Jess has always been envious of Lainie's passive-aggressive charm and talent.  Although she would love to watch Lainie continue to flounder in Elliot society, she takes pity on her old rival.  Taking Lainie and her children on as charity projects gives Jess a sense of satisfaction—as does seducing Lainie's husband.

As Jess becomes more and more entrenched in the Morris Family's drama, Lainie finds herself slowly suffocating.  Between the daily pressure of being married to an ambitious doctor, raising four demanding children, and trying to further her art career while doing her best not to embarrass herself every time she steps outside her front door, Lainie feels strangled.  Can she ever find balance and a sense of peace for herself?  Or will she slowly dry up and wither away, like a selkie who sheds its true identity to live, always trapped and smothered, on the land?

The premise behind Between the Tides, a debut novel by Susannah Marren, sounds so innocuous that it's difficult to describe why I found almost everything about the story so repugnant.  Let's start with the characters.  With the exception of some of the kids, every single one of Marren's stereotypical cast members is selfish, immature, unsympathetic and decidedly unlikable.  The adults are indulgent and/or neglectful parents; cruel and/or disloyal spouses; as well as self-absorbed and/or conniving people.  Lainie is especially ridiculous—she leaves the care of her children to the nanny or to 12-year-old Matilde, then whines (constantly) about how little time motherhood gives her to pursue her real passion: art.  While any wife/mother can relate to feeling exhausted and used-up by her family at times, Between the Tides takes the theme to an extreme level, making the whole novel feel like an angry feminist rant against marriage/motherhood ("Husbands are husbands, placate them as best you can.  Children are the glue; cherish them and comfort yourself for their benefit." [175]).  The cluttered prose adds to the problem.  Not only does Marren use very stilted dialogue, bogged down by the overuse of conversation tags ("Please pass the salt, Carl."; "I'd be happy to, Stephanie."  "Thank you, Carl."  "Oh, Stephanie, you're so welcome."), but the writing never feels very dynamic.  Overall, the story is dark, depressing, and dull.  I finished the novel because I was promised a doozy of a surprise ending.  It didn't surprise me, but what happened and how flippantly the characters reacted did make me say, "What in the world?"  For me, the odd finale just reinforced my dislike of Between the Tides.

I know I'm being a serious Negative Nelly here (Between the Tides actually gets pretty good reviews on Amazon and Goodreads; maybe it's just me who hated it ...), so I'll tell you what I did like about the book: the whole selkie thing gave it a unique spin that felt almost like magical realism.  It wasn't developed as much as it could have been, but it was an interesting element in an otherwise unpleasant novel.

(Readalikes:  Hm, I can't think of anything.  You?)

Grade:

It's bad enough that Bess Gray's turning 35, but to make matters a whole lot worse, she's facing the milestone alone. No husband. No kids. She always figured she'd have both by now, plus a house in the suburbs to boot. That was how she planned to spend her thirties. Not that the last 35 years have been a complete bust - she's got a job she loves, several close, devoted friends and a karate class that's keeping her svelte. She just hasn't found Mr. Right. Yet.

In an attempt to remedy the situation, Bess agrees to host a singles party at her Washington, D.C. apartment. She's not expecting much, certainly not a trip to the ER, but that's what she gets. In the melee, she also meets Rory McMillan, a 46-year-old Irish fiddler. With his irresistible accent, good looks, and laidback personality, Rory seems close to perfect. It's only when he pops the question that Bess learns a shocking truth about this ideal man: not only has he been married before, but he's been married eight times before. Reeling from Rory's revelation, Bess starts to reconsider everything she's been anxiously considering since the moment she met Rory. She would be insane to become someone's ninth wife, wouldn't she? Even if that someone is a sweet, handsome, gem of a man?

Torn between her feelings for Rory and the obvious implication of his eight failed marriages, Bess embarks on a head-clearing road trip across the country. Only there's not a lot of quiet contemplation time with a van full of needy passengers. Along for the ride are Bess' best friend, Cricket, whose usual flamboyance seems to be flagging; Cricket's Shar-Pei, Stella; Bess' bickering grandparents; and a mannequin named Peace. While she sorts out their problems, Bess also tracks down as many of Rory's ex-wives as she can find. Rory knows nothing of her investigation into his sordid past and Bess is not planning to tell him until she has enough evidence to make up her mind about his proposal.

Crossing the country with her quirky passengers will be an illuminating experience for Bess, who learns a great deal about love, life, and most of all, about herself.

The Ninth Wife, the first adult book by YA author Amy Stolls, is a zany novel that delves into so many issues, I'm not sure how to even begin dissecting it. I'm also not sure how I felt about it. The story pulled me in, but went on for so long that I got a bit bored, even with all the curveballs the plot threw at me. It kept me guessing, that's for sure. Still, I never felt any real connection with the book and the ending didn't surprise me in the least. So, I don't know, I'm feeling awfully ambivalent about the whole thing. Didn't love it, didn't hate it, don't know whether or not to recommend it. How's that for helpful?

(Readalikes: Hm, I can't really think of anything. Can you?)

Grade: C

If this were a movie, it would be rated: R for strong language, depictions of illegal drug use, and sexual content

To the FTC, with love: I received a finished copy of The Ninth Wife from the generous folks at Harper Collins and TLC Book Tours, for whom this review was written. Thank you!

If your "Happily Ever After" isn't turning out quite the way you planned, you may want to check out Edythe Denkin's new book, Relationship Magic. Denkin, a marriage counselor with 30 years experience, uses the parable of a prince and princess whose kingdom needs some tending to to teach readers about finding happiness and fulfillment in marriage. It sounds hokey (my 6-year-old daughter asked me if the book was about how to be a princess - we've been watching a lot of Enchanted at our house), and it is. In fact, I would have liked this book a lot better if it used real-life examples instead of a fairy tale, but I appreciate the author's attempt to make her material more readable.

Who was Kath Peters, really? That's the question everyone is asking in Penelope Lively's The Photograph. Answers will vary, based on who's asking, but one fact will emerge - Kath hid plenty behind her pretty face.

Soon after her death, Kath's husband Glyn finds an envelope marked, "Don't Open. Destroy." Inside lies a snapshot. Glyn doesn't recognize the setting, but he spies his wife holding hands with another man, a man who is, in fact, her brother-in-law. The image "smolders in its envelope, and in his head" (16), forcing him to face the fact that he didn't know his own wife. This "unreliability about my own past" (98) shakes him to his core. He deals with the problem in the way he knows best. As a historian, Glyn has done plenty of research, so he turns his investigative skills to the subject of his marriage. His search consumes him, but this is "par for the course; Glyn does obsession, always has, a five-star capacity for obsession is what makes him a painstaking researcher" (115).

As part of his quest, Glyn confronts those who knew Kath best - her sister, Elaine; Elaine's husband, Nick; Nick's business partner, Oliver; and Kath's closest friend, Mary Packard. Each of their voices, as well as that of Polly, Nick and Elaine's daughter, offer one piece of the puzzle that was Kath. Ultra-responsible Elaine remembers only her frustration with her irresponsible younger sister. Nick, who has "remained in a time warp of feckless adolescence" (182) can't understand why Elaine cares about his long-ago fling with her sister. Oliver wants only to put the past behind him. He regrets both taking and saving the damning photo. Ironically, Mary Packard, the one who spent the least time with Kath, is the only one with any real answers. While the others saw only Kath's pretty face, the fine features which allowed her to float through life shunning all responsibility, Mary heard the woman's secrets and desires. Mary's morale is a familiar one: Things are not always what they seem.

This novel is so difficult to describe because it isn't a story as much as it is a series of character studies. Basically, Lively takes a situation - Kath's infidelity - and examines how each person reacts to it. She mines their psyches to make statements about grief, identity, marriage and love. The result is a melancholy novel populated with sad, bitter people who can't get over the death of the only person (apparently) who brought any light to their lives. The story is depressing, really, although I also found it surprisingly compelling.

Although The Photograph feels dark and brooding, I found the writing quite beautiful. It's haunting, to be sure, but also rich and evocative. While scrutinizing his marriage, Glyn observes that "It is the subtexts that signify, the alternative stories that lurk beyond the narrative" (22). The same could be said of this novel - its truths are in the details. I thought a lot about this book, but I can't say I really enjoyed it.

Grade: B-

When Dorothy with Pump Up Your Book Promotion first asked me to review Kiss Me, I'm Single: An Ode to the Single Life by Amanda Ford, I thought, "Well, okay, but I'm not really into chick lit." Then, I realized that despite the bubbly pink cover, it isn't actually chick lit; in fact, it isn't even fiction. When I discovered this, I examined the subtitle, An Ode to the Single Life. Hmmmm. How on Earth is this book going to be relevant, I wondered, to someone like me who got married when she was 21 and is still happily wed 10 1/2 years later? Then, I figured, the book was sure to be a feminist rant slamming marriage and upholding singlehood as the desired state of all modern, independent women. Just when I had turned myself completely off the book, I thought, Maybe I should stop postulating and just read the darn thing. So, I did. I was surprised. And impressed.

The format of Kiss Me, I'm Single (pink, bubbly cover; short, breezy chapters; humorous, engaging writing) belies the fact that it contains some real nuggets of wisdom. Contrary to my assumptions, it does not bash marriage. It simply delivers advice to women who seem perpetually single, from someone who has been there. Not that Amanda has come up with some new, magical formula to guarantee a direct hit from Cupid's arrow, but she has a lot of hints on how to stay sane in a world where being a single woman feels like "an emergency ... as urgent as Code Red" (13). Unlike many relationship books, this one is a quick read - it's 203 pages, but some of them only have 2-3 sentences. I literally read it while waiting for pictures to upload onto Blogger (over the course of a few days - my computer's not that slow!)

So, you're wondering, what is the wisdom Amanda Ford imparts? Here's a taste:

It feels like Code Red when I begin doing the math and figure that if I want to be pregnant by one particular age, and if I want to spend a few years traveling the world with my husband before we have children, and if I simply want to date him for a few years before we get engaged, then I should have met him fifteen months ago (emphasis hers).

Okay, maybe that's not the best example, but I thought it was funny. On to the wise stuff:

Falling in love is what happens when you are busy loving your own life. (11)

Do not be one of those foolish women who think that the the love they give themselves is less important and less fulfilling than the love they get from men ... Believe that the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one that you have with yourself. Believe it down to your bones: The search for another person must never preclude the search for yourself. (19)

Love has nothing to do with another person, but is the condition of my own heart. (27)

It is a basic fact of life that in order to be truly happy and fulfilled with another person, you must be truly happy and fulfilled on your own first. A good relationship can enhance life for sure, but it cannot take what is only moderately satisfying and turn it into perfection. (33)

Contrary to myths and stories and popular belief, focusing on one person to fill your needs does not provide eternal protection against loneliness and isolation. In fact it's just the opposite. Relying on one person for everything decreases your chances at human connection and increases your odds of feeling lonely and isolated. (142)

So, you can see Amanda's basic principle: Single women should focus on creating fulfilling lives, not obsessing about how to get a man. I agree. In fact, I want to buy 100 copies of Kiss Me, I'm Single and fling them at all my single friends who whine about how their lives can't start until they get married. I think it's a given that falling in love happens when you least expect it, and when you stop thinking about it every minute of every day.

If you, like me, have already found your soul mate, don't dismiss this book. I think the last paragraph I quoted is especially significant for married women. Even in a marriage, we cannot lose sight of who we are and what brings us joy. We have to continue to get to know ourselves, continue to learn and grow. If we base our whole existence on our spouses and children, we will end up as strangers to ourselves.

As much as I liked the book, I have to say that I don't agree with everything Amanda says. Her experience does not seem to include observance of any strong marriages. She was reared by a single mother, went on to have a brief, unsatisfying marriage of her own, and has been single ever since. The marriages she does cite all seem to have blazing flaws - the wives are bored or suffocated by commitment. I just want to say that this is not always the case. Strong, happy marriages exist everywhere. Maybe they're not the norm, but they are out there.

All in all, though, I really enjoyed this read. I found Amanda to be a very personable, fun guide through the single life. Her book really is quick and easy to read, but also very profound. It can be purchased through Amazon or Barnes & Noble. You can also find out more about Amanda on her website, oholive.com. Be sure to check out her "Extraordinary Living Project" - it's inspiring.

P.S. When Amanda sent me her book, it was packaged in the cutest way. I just have to show you the photo I took:

Grade: B+

When my husband spotted Strangling Your Husband Is Not an Option by Merrilee Browne

Boyack at Deseret Book, he immediately plucked it off the shelf and handed it to me. The subtitle of the book is "A Practical Guide to Dramatically Improving Your Marriage." Now, before you draw any conclusions, I have to say that I have a good, solid marriage. But, since all relationships can be improved upon, I took my husband's recommendation and read the book.

After the first chapter or so, I have to say I was pretty annoyed with Sister Boyack. I had left the book by the toilet in the master bathroom, so my husband had scanned this first section as well; even he said, "Sounds like she has a 1950s mentality." Basically, the first part of the book (Chapter 2, really) concerns the "Five Don'ts of Wifehood," most of which include focusing solely on your husband (to the exclusion of other duties and interests) and making yourself attractive so that he won't cast his roving eyes elsewhere. I thought this was unrealistic and insulting to both men and women. Boyack did make some good points, but overall, I was not impressed with Chapter 2.

Luckily, I kept reading, because Boyack really did have some good thoughts and ideas. Basically, her philosophy is that wives cannot "fix" their husbands. They should quit whining about all of his faults and focus on perfecting themselves. Boyack suggests that women take care of themselves - physically, spiritually and emotionally - so that they are secure enough to allow their men to resolve problems in their own - uniquely male - ways. She says that wives' incessant nagging and criticism prove that they have no faith in their husbands, thus leading to husbands who don't believe in themselves. Sister Boyack backs up her guidelines with quotes from leading psychologists (including both the predictable - John Gray - and the surprising - Dr. Phil), LDS church leaders and the scriptures. With these heavyweights on her side and 25 years of marriage under her belt, it's hard to deny: Merrilee Browne Boyack knows what she's talking about.

Now, I'm not saying I agree with everything she says - I know my husband is not going to stray just because my gray hairs are overdue for a visit with my hair stylist - but I did extract some valuable information from Boyack's book. Of particular interest to me was the "As if" philosophy she describes and the section where she quotes Dr. Michael Gurian on how males think. I was also pleasantly surprised by the way she sidestepped the canned Sunday School answers to marital problems (pray, attend the temple together, etc.) and sought answers beyond the usual cliches. Not that she didn't beat dead horses in places, but I felt that she did have some new insight.

As far as the issues I had with the book: I thought Boyack lingered a little too long on issues I felt were not that important (honestly, does she really think husbands are going to dismiss their wives because they wear sweats once in awhile?), and didn't take enough time with the issues I found truly fascinating (the differences between how men and women solve problems). I also thought Boyack's tone got annoying at times. She was obviously trying to be upbeat and warm, but I found myself frequently irritated by her phraseology - I mean, nobody says dagnabbit.

All in all, I liked Strangling Your Husband Is Not an Option. It was quick, readable and had some valuable advice. I don't agree with all of Boyack's opinions, but I do believe that every marriage can be improved upon, and I will be incorporating some of her tips into mine. For instance, as soon as I publish this post, I'm going to call the hair salon - I have a few gray strands that need some attention!

Grade: B