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Despite Erudite Observations, Hummingbirds Becomes Downright Dull
(Image from Barnes & Noble)Working at an all girls' prep school is an ideal - albeit dangerous - job for a man who loves women as much as Leo Binhammer. It's not that he's some kind of pervert, it's just that he feels most comfortable with females, who are always glad to lavish attention on the handsome, laidback young teacher. He enjoys the lighthearted banter of his flirtatious colleagues as well as the energy of his students who remind him of hummingbirds with "their delicate, overheated bodies fretting in short, angled bursts of movement around a bottle of red sugar water" (11). It's all a bit of harmless fun for the happily-married Mr. Binhammer.
Then, Ted Hughes enters the picture. Quite suddenly, Binhammer finds his Top Dog status threatened by the charismatic new teacher who's not only replacing Binhammer in the girls' hearts, but also has a surprisingly intimate connection to Mrs. Binhammer. By all rights, Binhammer should hate Hughes. Only, he doesn't. He can see exactly why the other man seems to have everyone wrapped around his little finger. Which only makes the situation more infuriating. Why should Hughes be allowed to march in and confiscate everything that rightfully belongs to Binhammer? It's not fair, no matter how charming the man is.
While Binhammer scrambles to regain his favored status, he has to contend with the silliness of his students, the mutiny of his colleagues, and his growing admiration for a man he should loathe. When revenge comes calling for Ted Hughes, Binhammer finds it's not as sweet as he would have anticipated. Isn't Hughes, after all, simply another victim of the complicated female world they both inhabit? How can a man ever hope to survive, he muses, with all "those women - women everywhere, each one a tropical island with hidden estuaries. How not to be a pirate in this extravagance?" (316). All Binhammer knows is this - it won't be quite the same without Hughes in it.
It's difficult to summarize Hummingbirds by Joshua Gaylord because, really, not a lot happens between Page 1 and Page 322. What little does occur is, by turns, depressing, disturbing, and just plain dull. Gaylord does excel at drawing characters; indeed, the novel reads like a collection of astute observations about the principle players rather than an actual story. His writing is undeniably fresh, erudite and funny. I wrote down several pages of quotations from the book, just for the sheer pleasure of reveling in his clever use of language. Unfortunately, adroit word choice wasn't enough to keep me interested in this rambling novel. A snail-paced plot coupled with smug, unhappy characters and creepy observations like
He has, of course, picured her naked - just as he has pictured all of his students naked at one time or another ... This is the great secret of all the teachers at Carmine-Casey and, Binhammer is sure, all the other high schools, public or private, in the world: there is a massive naked cocktail party going on in the head of every high school teacher (139).
turned this into a perturbing snorefest. If I hadn't committed to reviewing Hummingbirds for a blog tour, I would have put it down somewhere around Page 30, brilliant quotations be darned.
(Readalikes: I really don't know of any. Ideas?)
Grade: C
If this were a movie, it would be rated: R for strong language, depictions of underrage drinking/smoking, and sexual content
To the FTC, with love: I received an ARC of Hummingbirds from the generous folks at Harper Collins. Quotes were taken from the uncorrected proof and may have been altered for the book's final printing. This review was written as part of a blog tour for TLC Book Tours.
Intriguing Premise Lacks Execution It Deserves in New Carman Thriller
(Image from Barnes & Noble)When Jacob Fielding survives a horrific car crash that kills his mysterious foster fath
er, he feels something transfer from the older man to him. Some type of weird energy. As he inadvertently lends the power to a daredevil new girl, the truth hits Jacob like a ton of bricks: Not only is he indestructible, but he can make other people temporarily unassailable, too. Which comes in handy, considering his best friends are a short kid with a big mouth and a beautiful blonde who sees death-defying longboard tricks as an amusing hobby. Cool as Jacob's newfound ability is, he can't shake the feeling that it's dangerous. An orphaned high school kid really shouldn't be the one playing God, should he?
The more Jacob learns about his perplexing new "gift," the more he wishes he could just get rid of it. Several people, including his thrill-seeking girlfriend, Ophelia ("Oh") James, would love to wrench it away from him, use its extraordinary power to save every soul she can. It's not like he's indifferent to easing the suffering of others, but Jacob's more than a little reluctant to play Superman with a superpower he barely understands. He only knows that he can't save everyone and only God should be able to choose who lives and who dies. Besides, he feels a darkness in his strange ability, a hunger that seems intent on consuming him.
As Jacob studies the source of his invulnerability, he discovers some strange secrets about the power, his foster father, and himself. Even though he still doesn't know everything, he knows enough to be worried about Oh, whose obsession with the power is changing her from a lighthearted free spirit into someone the boys barely recognize. Can they unlock the secrets of invulnerability in enough time to save their friend? Or will the strength of an ancient force be the destruction of them all?
Thirteen Days to Midnight by veteran children's author, Patrick Carman, introduces one of the most intriguing premises I've encountered in a long time. Not the superpower thing - that's been done a million times. I'm talking about the idea behind the superpower, which, unfortunately, I can't discuss for fear of spoiling the story. You're just going to have to trust me on this one. It's a fabulous idea. Unfortunately, Carman's execution of the idea doesn't do it justice. As written, the novel feels like a first draft. It's as if the author's playing with different ideas, molding his characters, imagining a romance, and creating preliminary dialogue. A rewrite or two could have honed all this, smoothing out the clunky writing, sharpening Thirteen Days to Midnight into the taut, focused, highly original thrill ride it's meant to be. As is, the story meanders all over the place, the characters sound like robots, and much of the plot hinges on happenings that are annoyingly contrived. These are all fairly easy fixes, something I hope Carman takes into account when writing the next books (although I haven't seen it confirmed anywhere, I'm assuming this book is not a standalone). Even though I found this one disappointing, the series has so much potential that I'm eager for the next installment. I don't have the power to see the future, but I predict this is one of those series that will get better as it goes along.
(Readalikes: A little like Delcroix Academy: The Candidates by Inara Scott and a teensy bit like the Gone series by Michael Grant)
Grade: C
If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG-13 for language (no F-bombs), gore, and very mild sexual innuendo
To the FTC, with love: I received an ARC of Thirteen Days to Midnight from the generous folks at Hachette Book Group. Thank you!
A Fuzzy-Headed Friday
In the meantime, let's celebrate that it's Friday! My kids get out early from school (a reason for them to celebrate - me, not so much) since they're annual October Break starts next week; I have an aunt coming to visit whom I haven't seen in years; and, of course, these fun events:

The Book Blogger Hop is a weekly event hosted by Jen over at Crazy For Books. If you're a new blogger, it's a perfect way to find other blogs and drive traffic to your own site. If you're a veteran at this book blogging thing, it's a great way to welcome the newbies. Plus, it's just fun! Head on over to Jen's blog to join in. This week, Jen asks the question: What is your favorite beverage to drink while you read?
- Usually, I just like a nice, big cup of ice water. Lately, though, I've needed more of a caffeine boost (which, being LDS, I feel tremendously guilty about), so I've been all about the Mt. Dew. I like to stick it in the freezer until it's nearly solid, then let it melt to the consistency of a slurpee. Delish.

Friday (My Book Blog) Friday is another weekly meme, this time hosted by Parajunkee. It's another fabulous way to discover new blogs/bloggers and gain Followers for your own blog. You'll definitely want to join in! Parajunkee's question of the week is: How many reviews to you like to do in a week?
- Funny enough, I've been thinking a lot about this question lately. I don't like to post every day, because I think it gets overwhelming. My own feed reader is so out of control that I end up skipping a lot of reviews on blogs that post daily. I'm aiming toward more of a Monday-Wednesday-Saturday approach, with a misc. post on Friday. What do you think? Would you like more reviews? Less? More chit chat? Maybe I should do a poll or something ...
Anyway, for those who are here because of the Hop or FF, welcome! Please leave a comment so I can check out your blog also. Don't forget to check out the giveaway I'm running for a new, hardcover copy of Wicked Girls by Stephanie Hemphill - you can get all the details on my right sidebar.
I forgot to mention that I finished a reading challenge! It's been awhile since I actually completed one, so I'm pretty proud of myself. My reading list changed quite a bit since I realized reading both Under the Dome and The Stand in one month might be more of an undertaking than I first thought. So, here's what I ended up reading:1. The Devouring by Simon Holt (Review)
2. Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare (Review)
3. I Am Legend by Richard Matheson (Review)
4. Wicked Girls by Stephanie Hemphill (Review)
I liked all of them, although the structure of I Am Legend confused and frustrated me. My favorite ended up being The Devouring, which is just a deliciously creepy Halloween read. I'm working on the sequels now. *Shivers* A funny: I was reading Soulstice yesterday when the FedEx guy banged on my door. Scared the crap out of me!
Ultimate Cliffhanger Ending Sours Me On Traitor
(Image from Barnes & Noble)
Readin'
The Traitor in the Tunnel by Y.S. Lee
Listenin'
Death By Demo by Callie Carpenter
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