Is anyone else missing Jay Leno on The Tonight Show? I don't know what it is about Conan O'Brien, but I'm just not that into him. Quirky little leprechauns aren't my thing, apparently. I know Jay's going to be back on tv very soon - in the meantime, I'm boycotting O'Brien on principle. And because he bugs me. Anyway, one of the features I liked best on Jay's show was "Headlines." He read funny snippets from newspapers, bulletins, signs, etc. - lines full of grammatical errors, misspellings, and idiotic comments. If you, like me, are missing "Headlines," try this new book on for size: I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar by Sharon Eliza Nichols (available September 29 - the book, that is, not Sharon). The blogger and law student has collected dozens of error-filled signs into a collection sure to send grammar snobs into fits of laughter.

From the classic "Kids With Gas Eat Free" sign to bizarre spellings ("Bokay for $5") to "apostrophe catastrophes" ("Mow'in Joe's Lawn Cutting") - this book documents it all. Since most of Nichols' examples have to do with punctuation errors, they're more embarrassing than funny, although there are some downright hilarious signs (like the "peonies" example on Page 31). Nichols' commentary is sometimes witty, sometimes ... not so much. Luckily, most of the signage speaks (poorly) for itself.

Now, I don't know that punctuation errors and "creative" spellings technically come under the grammar umbrella, but they are pretty entertaining, if only because they help English majors (like myself) feel superior. I did get a little tired of Nichols' numerous examples of its/it's, their/there/they're, your/you're mistakes - they're only sometimes funny. Pathetic is more like it.

I love the idea of this book, I just thought it would be more humorous. I don't know how Jay finds such gems for his segments. Nichols' version doesn't come close, but it will do in a pinch. It's instructive, anyway. After all, gooder grammar doesnt come naturally to most folks - its a learned kind of thing. No what I mien?

If you want to connect with other grammar snobs, check out the I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar Facebook group.

Grade: B-

If this were a movie, it would be rated: I'm not sure how Hollywood would make a movie out of this one, but there is a little bit of profanity and one reference to, um, "peonies."

(Book image from Barnes & Noble)

Avoid Catching Fire? Are you kidding? It's the hottest book in town. Everyone's reading it. Yes, yes, I know. But, really, you shouldn't. Why not, you ask? Is it:

Boring? No, not for minute.

If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG for violence

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In my excitement over Catching Fire, I somehow forgot to mention Michelle's awesomeness. I don't know if she designed these buttons herself or what, but aren't they fun? It made me laugh, especially since Laura mentioned how much the Gale-Katniss-Peeta thing reminded her of a certain vampire-teenage girl-werewolf triangle. If you want to show your love, click here and steal some buttons for yourself. Click around while you're there - she's up for a BBAW nomination, and would no doubt appreciate your vote.

BTW: I vote Gale. I also vote Edward. What does that say about me? Hmmm ...

January 6, 1971 - That's the day Jesus walks into Frannie's 6th grade classroom. At least that's what the new kid calls himself - he doesn't pronounce it the Spanish way, either, but the regular, Bible way. As if that's not enough to make him stand out, the kid is white. Not just light brown like Trevor, who has a caucasian daddy, but white white. Almost blue-white. White like no one else at Frannie's school, like no one else on her side of the highway. The only explanation for his strange, sudden appearance, according to Frannie's friend Samantha, is that he really is Jesus. Even though Samantha's a preacher's daugher, Frannie can't help but wonder if she's a little delusional. Still, the boy's calm, cool in the face of ridicule, and forgiving of his tormentors. Frannie's not exactly the churchgoing type, but she's beginning to wonder if there isn't something to Samantha's theory. After all, as Samantha says, "If there was a world for Jesus to need to walk back into, wouldn't this one be it?" (33)

Feathers by Jacqueline Woodson brings Frannie's world to vibrant life. It's a time of Afro picks, Black Pride, Michael Jackson moves, and bridges over troubled water. It's also a time of war, worry and racial tension. When Jesus walks in, it also becomes a time for Frannie and her friends to confront their own prejudices. The girls avoid the kid, preferring to discuss him from a distance; some of the boys, however, decide to confront the problem with their fists. When Jesus shows them his true colors, the questions really start to fly - who is this kid?

Frannie knows firsthand how ignorant people can be - she hates it when people assume her brother's stupid just because he's deaf. Still, Frannie's not exactly ready to sit with Jesus at lunchtime. She just wishes she could get the white kid out of her mind. His gentle example's making her think of hope and miracles and healing the world. If that's not God's influence, what is? The more Frannie questions, the more it all makes sense. Maybe not the world's kind of sense, maybe just her own kind. And, maybe, just maybe, that's enough.

It's hard to describe this middle grade novel, except to say that it's exquisite in its simplicity. It examines the idea of hope from the standpoint of the most hopeful among us - the children. It also looks at prejudice in its many forms - against those with impairments and disabilities, toward those with nontraditional families, and between different races/cultures. I've read countless books about racism, most of which focus on mistreatment of African-Americans by caucasians - it's oddly refreshing to read a story about racism exploding in the opposite direction. I don't mean refreshing in a "See-it's-not-just-white-people" kind of way, but in a "See-we're-all-just-human" kind of way. Feathers makes a brave admission: All of us harbor prejudices of some kind. The important thing is to be able to look past them, to judge people not by their appearance, but by their actions. I think Frannie's mother sums it all up very nicely: "If that's the way he came into the world, that's the way he's staying. It's us we need to change" (51-52).

This kind of understated eloquence is what made Feathers stand out to me. I know several reviewers rank it among their least favorite of Woodson's books, so I guess I'm in the minority when I say I love it. So be it. I loved it.

Grade: A

If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG - Although there's no profanity, Feathers contains some mature subject matter (like miscarriage, racial slurs, etc.) that may not be suitable for children under 10