In my quest to find new book blogs, I stumbled across Reading in Color, a spunky new blog written by the lovely Ari (aka Miss Attitude). She's young, black and committed to promoting books written by, for and about People of Color (POC). After scrolling through her posts, I knew she was the perfect person to help me with another of my quests - ever since I adopted my daughter (who is part African-American, part caucasian/Cajun), I've been trying to find books featuring bi-racial, adopted and/or black characters. My baby's not even walking yet, but I want her to have a library of books featuring interesting people whose experiences might be similar to hers. Who knows what will happen as she discovers her own, individual identity - I just want to make sure she's exposed to every side of her unique heritage. Ari came through in a big way, recommending sites like The Brown Bookshelf and Color Online as well as a whole list of books. Among her suggestions was When the Black Girl Sings by Bil Wright. While I didn't love the book, I think it offers a lot of insights into adoption, race, family, identity and life itself.

The novel stars Lahni Schuler, a black teenager who lives in Connecticut with her adoptive parents, who are white. Although her mom and dad adore her, they're having trouble getting along with each other. With their impending divorce, Lahni feels her world crumble even more. She's already dealing with a new school - a private one full of snooty white girls who make her feel very, very black. Plus, she's being stalked by a wannabe gangsta. Not only is he white, but he's also a complete whack job. Angry at her dad, worried about her mom, and feeling sorry for herself, Lahnie's not exactly a happy camper.

One day, Lahni's mother finds just what they need to put their lives back together: religion. Resigned, Lahni trudges along to the Church of the Good Shepherd, hoping it will cheer up her mom. She's amazed to find herself moved to tears by the congregation's resident choir, led by a flamboyant black pianist and an equally black diva named Carietta Chisolm. Lahni enlists their help in training for an upcoming school talent competition. In the bosom of the choir, she finally feels a sense of belonging. Still, she's got issues: How does she deal with her parents' dissolving relationship? Will she survive in a school that seems bent on ostracizing her? How is she going to shake her creepy stalker? And, should she even be entering a singing competition when the other girls seem so much more talented? As Lahni tackles her problems, she'll learn a thing or two about who she really is - and how, in the end, that knowledge is all that really matters.

As much as I wanted to love this book, I found the writing a little lackluster, the characters a little too flat and the plot a little too predictable. What I do appreciate is Wright's straightforwardness in tackling issues of race, specifically how a black child might feel growing up in a white family and community. Despite the conflicts Lahni faces, her adoption is portrayed in a positive light - her parents couldn't care less about her ethnicity, they love her for her. But it also shows how different a parent's view can be from that of a child who feels like an outsider every day of her life. I also enjoyed the characters of Marcus Delacroix III (the choir director/pianist) and Carietta Chisolm - although both are larger than life, they come off as both interesting and believable.

So, yeah, there's lots to love about this book, I just wanted a little more depth. When the Black Girl Sings starts off so strongly; I mean, the first two lines read: "I never once let any of them see me naked. Until that Friday, when I had no choice" (2). Who can resist reading on? Unfortunately, the writing fizzles along the way, making it a weaker story than it could have been. I'm still glad I read it as it gave me a lot to think about - I just wanted more from the author.

(Note: I'm still looking for books with bi-racial, adopted and/or black characters to add to my list. Bring on the recommendations! And thanks again, Ari, for all your help!)

Grade: C

If this were a movie, it would be rated: PG for sexual content (in conversations, not action)

To offer some counterpoint to my last review, I decided to read a book that swings in the complete opposite direction from What I Thought I Knew. A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family by Mary Ostyn comes recommended by my younger sister, who knows a few things about the topic in question. At 30, she manages a brood of 5 kids aged 10 and under. To say I admire her is like saying I kinda like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups - vast understatements, both. She's a kind and loving mother who runs a very tight ship. Even the best of moms, though, may feel a little bit crazy sometimes, which is where Ostyn comes in. If you think your family life is a little hectic, try this on for size: Ostyn runs a household of 12. She feeds her brood on $80/week, homeschools all 10 (4 biological, 6 adopted from Korea and Ethiopia) of her children, and might even want to adopt more. She calls herself a sane woman - you be the judge.

Ostyn addresses the pesky FAQs mothers of large families face most often: How do you afford to feed/clothe/educate 10 kids? Are you really able to meet the needs of each child when you have so many? Do you ever feel done? And, most common of all: Are you out of your mind? Curiously, she doesn't talk about the ever popular Are all those kids yours? To the other questions, she calmly explains that her family lives frugally; shops sales; cultivates a garden; gratefully accepts hand-me-downs; and avoids expensive vacations, all in an effort to cut costs. Yes, she's able to aid each child by limiting extracurricular activities, encouraging communication, playing together, and emphasizing family over everything else. Does she feel as if her family's complete now? Not necessarily. In fact, she says, "I have a long history of lobbying for just one more child" (12). Is she just the teeniest, tiniest bit crazy? Mum's the word on that one, but she certainly sounds sane. Her advice is so clear, so practical, so doable you'll find yourself wondering what all the fuss is about - if Ostyn's got her family of 12 under control, your clan of 6 should be a snap.

Ostyn hits on so many different subjects that I'm just going to highlight the ideas I especially liked:

15 Minutes Better - Feeling frazzled, Ostyn decided to spend just 15 minutes a day focusing on being a better mom. She plays card games, starts tickle fights, helps with projects and initiates real conversations with her children, all of which put her more in tune with her family.

Disciplining Through Service - When Ostyn's children pick on each other, she "punishes" them by making them perform an act of service for the sibling they've wronged. I love this idea!

Division of Labor - Ostyn goes into depth about her method of assigning chores and getting her children to help around the house. The key, according to her, is to focus on the must-do tasks and keep a laidback/flexible attitude about the rest. As delegation is something I struggle with as a mother, I especially appreciated this section of the book.

Celebrating Each Child - This is by far my favorite chapter. Citing Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages, Ostyn encourages parents to figure out which "language" speaks most effectively to each child. She says:

Children all need opportunities, but they don't need the exact same opportunities. Our children are unique. Our parenting of them should honor that uniqueness rather than trying to cram them into one mold that doesn't quite fit anyone (179).

Quality Time - Ostyn encourages bonding through good, old-fashioned, unplugged kinds of ways - playing board/card games; enjoying bike rides together; shooting hoops in the driveway; talking; listening. "Quality time," she insists, "is more than mere proximity" (182).

Now, I'm not saying I didn't have any issues with the book. I wish Ostyn had gone into as much detail about how she handles all the food (shopping, cooking, even recipes) as she did about housework. I also would have liked to see photographs of her family as well as how she organizes things like her pantry, laundry room, etc. Questions kept popping into my mind that I would have loved to ask her, most pressing of which is, "How in the world do you fit in time to manage your Ethiopian daughters' hair while taking care of so many other things?" Luckily, Ostyn maintains an extremely helpful website, where she tackles all kinds of questions, going into further detail about how she manages her household. Check it out here. Want recipes? She's authored a cookbook called Family Feasts for $75 a Week. Who knew?

A couple other issues - Ostyn makes a lot of references to God, faith, prayer, etc. If you're a non-religious type, this might drive you crazy. I'm very religious, and it still made me a little nuts. Also, I objected to some of her views about public schooling. I also think Ostyn's a little too serious. I mean, a mother of 10 children has got to have some good stories. Tell them, sister! If you prefer your advice in a more funny, down-to-Earth style, check out Because I Said So and my friend Charlotte's blog - both are hilarious, very real looks at mothering a big brood.

Overall, though, I enjoyed A Sane Woman's Guide to Raising a Large Family. It's chock-full of good, practical advice. Mary Ostyn deals with the day-to-day details of parenting with the end in mind - she's dedicated to raising kind, hard-working, responsible adults. Her devotion to her children is obvious. If you're looking for advice from someone who's been there, Ostyn's your man, uh, mom.

Grade: B

If this were a movie, it would be rated: G

I never did hear from Stacie/Darcie, so random.org picked a new winner ...

So, I've been seeing posts all over the book blogosphere announcing nominees for different BBAW awards. The excitement is palpable. I love it. True, I may have been the teensiest, tiniest bit green-eyed, but really, I've been so happy for all of you. I mean, I would have been delighted to have been nominated for best giveaways ('cuz I've been rocking them this year), or best design (you gotta admit, it's cute), or best anything at all. But, no. Nothing. I sniffed a little, then got over myself (well, kind of). So, imagine my surprise when an email arrived in my inbox today reminding me to submit 5 of my best pieces to the judging committee. Huh? Turns out, I never received the first email letting me know I've been nominated in the category of Best Writing. Can I just tell you that I'm thrilled beyond words? I work hard on this little ole blog of mine and I'm honored - not to mention surprised - that anyone clicks over here at all. So, thank you, thank you for this. It means so much to me!